beautiful people

The last thing I should be doing right now is blogging. I should really be sleeping. But... I just wanted to give a little shout out, because seriously I have THE most beautiful people in my life. Sometimes I just think its normal to be as inspiring, passionate, caring, huge hearted and out of the world as the people who fill my life are, and then Im reminded that these people are one of a kind.

Tonight we watched a play called "American Dream in the Wonderland" done by workers from our off campus ESL program. A satire about what life would be like if the United States would open our hearts and arms to immigrants and let them into our world. I was surrounded by a group of people who could understand the Spanish enough to laugh and feel all of it with them. A group of people who teach me and lift me and show me how beautiful this world is, even in the midst of all the scary.

Then we went to listen to Maddie speak at The Challenge. Maddie is our Director of SCCAP this year and just absolutely wonderful. She talked about SCCAP her sophomore year and this group of seniors that inspired her and legitimized all her crazy ideas and I sat and looked at these amazing women around me who are just that for me. So very inspiring and out of this world, seriously they will never know how much of an impact they have had. She talked about South Africa and India and all these amazing opportunities that Santa Clara has given her to allow her to explore and learn and grow and find what is important to her. It was amazing and left me so excited for all thats to come and so thankful for this year that has brought me so far in a community of people who push me and help me to do bigger and better things.

Then the icing on the cake, Xavier Mass, a mass done in my bulding to bring us all together.  Our themes are faith and global solidarity and the focus of the mass was Joy Through the Journey. So relevant. So meaningful. There is so much I havent figured out yet but I do know when my heart strings start dancing and I do know some pieces of it all and tonight I felt a lot of that. Good people, good messages, really really good life.

Im going to El Salvador in the fall. Ask this girl 2 years ago about El Salvador... I wouldnt even have been able to comprehend. And Im going. And I am so excited. Also, I'm gonna keep my Soc major and add an International Development major that Im making myself. Such amazing and interesting classes and finally, I think it fits (I know Ive said that before so Im not making any promises but Ive thought long and hard about this one). How cool that I can make my own major, travel to El Salvador, listen to people talk about their journeys all over the world that have taught them so much, their journeys right here in our back yard.

Im just thankful and lucky/blessed/in the right place at the right time/ however it best fits in your mind... my life is really good. And I cannot thank all these people in my life enough who have gotten me here. Celebrate the beautiful people in your life, there everywhere! <3

Easter...springtime, family and good food

Oh three day weekends, how I love you. And this was a seriously good one.

Easter means a whole heck of a lot to a lot of people, nothing to others and somewhere in between for lots. For us, its somewhere in between. Its not really about the bible or church or the resurection, and maybe it should be but I like what its about. And I think for a lot of people its about what it has become for us... family, spring time and good food.

My weekend was fantastic. Railroad Revival Thursday night, really good music in a really sweet spot right on the bay looking over the city. Then a sweet run in San Francisco by the water Friday before driving up to Tahoe with Jes and Kylie, a really fun 24 hours in Tahoe and then down to Santa Cruz for Easter with Kylie's family.  Tahoe was gross springy weather (the unfun snowy yucky kind not the pretty kind) but great snow and good skiing. And it was great to spend Easter with a family. I missed mine, the quirks, the chaos, the traditions that you dont even realize are traditions until you dont have them, and just the comfort and understanding, but I was really lucky to be welcomed into another family for a little bit of all of that. Jes and I went to the beach and had lunch together after, and I will always be a sucker for some brother time. Its pretty cool that I live in this place where I can ski one day and then go to the beach the next, and run in the sunshine surrounding that too. I like it.. I think Ill stay a while.

I ran to the Rose Gardens for the first time since fall (they are pretty depressing in the winter) and it was SOOO wonderful. The roses are starting to bloom and so are the people. The park was filled with cute families having easter egg hunts, picnics, hide and seek in the roses, flying kites, hula hooping and all the wonderful things you do in the spring time and on Easter when you are spending your day enjoying your family. I love it... family is a good thing, even if it took me a while to figure that out. Speaking off.. I finally decided/ succumbed to the fact that I will be living at home this summer. I keep saying its gonna be the last time and it keeps not happening but I think thats ok. There is something to be said for home.. mama, mountains, this little lifestyle that has a huge place in my heart.  It just makes the most sense, Ill work some and play in the mountains and be close enough to go see friends when its necessary and I wont be paying rent and will be able to live without a car. So Leadville.. Ill see ya in June <3

Life is really good.
Its week 5 already which is insane and there is lots of good stuff coming. The rest of spring quarter which honestly Im not ready to let go of yet. This year has been even better than the last.
Summa filled with RYLA and some homestyle lovin
and then... drumroll please

EL SALVADOR... its calling me. Im getting less nervous and starting to realize that its real and it just feels so dang right. Im ready to speak spanish. And learn. And see. And just have something new and exciting and scary. Its gonna be freakin great.

But Im in no rush to get there, it will come when its time :) Happy Easter weekend, hope you enjoyed some family, spring and good food and whatever else it is that makes your Easter special :)

stream of consciousness

I havent been very good at getting here. Partly cause this quarter seriously has been one of the busiest yet... I think, I dont really know where the last three weeks have gone. And partly because theres too much goin on in my brain to put into words.

We had our spring SCCAP retreat last weekend. The last one with this staff. And it was absolutely in more ways than I can say out of this world. Just to give you a little idea of how it all went down. Beach house in Capitola, 20 some out of this world SCCAPers, riding on a year of fantasticness together, beach olympics, reflections, cooking together, 12 people in a hot tub, serious amounts of love, freezing ocean swimming, sunshine, all sorts of sillyness, and so much more packed into less than 48 hours. It was fantastic. And a good reminder, motivator, inspiration to make the last quarter even better than the last, and just to stop and think.  I cant believe a year ago we were being interviewed and going on our first akward retreat. I cant believe we are almost bidding ado to the 2010/2011 SCCAP staff. I also cannot believe its almost the end of sophomore year... Ill save that for later though.

I was just reminded of how much SCCAP has done for me. So many great people to call family, the decision to go to El Salvador, learning lots about myself and the world and so much more has come since that phone call giving me the PC position. Such good stuff man.

Casa in the fall has been spending all sorts of time in my head. Called my dad today to figure out my plane ticket, didnt quite get the response I was hopin for, but... its all part of the deal. Its hard to explain how connected to it I feel already, how much it has already become something I feel like is ingrained in this experience, so exciting and new and real and scary and so many things. So many things that I cant quite articulate when my dad doesn't jump for joy when I call asking about buying a plane ticket. So many things that seem so much more relevant to me than the 700 dollars.  Money forever is a pain in the butt, but wherever the 700 dollars comes from I know in 4 and a half months it will be the most irrelevant thing in the world and completely out of this world worth the uncomfortable, somewhat annoying conversation around it. And man am I thankful that I can see that.


I was feeling a little angsty earlier wondering how Im gonna pay for this ticket, where my summer will end up, how to pick out a dress for this occasion that I cant quite understand... but then. I brainstormed about Young RYLA. Sometimes when one idea comes they just flow and I get all excited and I see the love between the counselors and the looks on the kiddos faces at the end of the week and Im reminded why wherever I am this summer will be ok and why planning Young RYLA is exactly where I am supposed to be even when I have friends who will be traveling the world. Ill get there someday.

I had a fantastic weekend and didnt even realize it happening. I have the coolest best friend in the world and we laughed about how we have only known each other for over a year and it feels like forever. We went to the beach yesterday and just watched the waves, played in the sand and came home.  Totally low key weekend with yoga, global village, homework and a run tonight but good stuff. Sunshine. Good friends. Laughin. Playin. Its a good life man.

Davey is coming to visit me in two weeks and I am so dang excited. Ive been raving to my friends about him and just cant wait for the adventures I know he'll bring along, so great to bring people from home to this place and just get to share all of the goodness on both sides.

Mandy and I are gonna do the Iron Bronco... teams of two-three do whats equal to a Triathalon in a two week span.. 26.something miles of running, 2ish of swimming and lots of biking. A little roomie bonding, shes a good one I tell ya.

Sorry for this somewhat random stream of consciousness blog, it was time for an update. Hope you have good stuff to fill your days with, if not come hang out with me, I got lots to go around :) XOXOX

learning from kindergarteners

Good morning world. Its been a while. Lots has been happening in my little world.
Im sitting on the balcony in the sun, its beautiful and springy here and has been all week. Its been the perfect weekend to start of spring quarter. Life is dang good.

1st.... Navajo Nation. Im not exactly sure what words to use.  It was a wonderful week, different than I expected but wonderful.  The Navajo people are a beautiful culture. Something we are so sadly ignorant about and something so rich is history and meaning. I am so glad I went to learn about their life, to understand how different but even more how similar their lives are to ours.  We spent our days in the local boarding school. A school that was started to strip the people of their culture, teach them English and integrate them into the "dominate society". Thankfully, our country has made progress and now Tuba City Boarding School includes Navajo culture classes, the walls are covered in posters in both Navajo and English, showing the values and traditions of both cultures. Still, the Navajo culture is slowly diminishing, in my kindergarten class I had to ask ten kids before I could find one that could count to ten in Navajo, their traditional language. Our leader is Navajo and he was not taught Navajo when he was young because his parents were beat at school if they spoke it, today he is trying to relearn the culture, but stories like that are widespread.

The kindergarten class that I was in was just like any other kindergarten class, 22 five and six year olds learning, tattling on each other, wanting me to "play it" with them.  The kids were the most amazing part of the week, raw and real and too young to be trying to be anything yet but just letting me into their lives. Just like the kids at LUCHA or West Park or even many of the prestigious white private schools, their home lives were not easy, something that is easy to sometimes ignore and forget. They are dealing with divorce, neglect, poverty, single parents, fighting, addiction, things that are everywhere but like the kids at LUCHA they have fewer resources and support systems to help them survive through the scariness of life and make it out of high school heading for college and a life that they can make better for themselves. Only 7% of the Navajo population recieves a Bachelors and even less recieve further education. Their little voices ring in my head and the eyes of some particular ones who you could tell were struggling, it was so hard to leave them after a week with them but I can only hope that my time there was half as meaningful to them as it was to me and I truly hope that someday I can go back and be with the Navajo people again.

In the evenings we learned about the culture from locals, art, traditional clothing, music, traditional stories and the sweat lodge experience gave us a taste of the culture. The sweat lodge was an amazing experience. Something very deep rooted in the culture and sacred.  We did three rounds of at least 45 mins in the small sweat lodge made from cedar wood and just barely big enough for all of us to fit sitting with our knees to our chests so close to everyone else. Every round it got hotter and we were cleansing something else. 1st body, then mind and lastly spirit.  Everyone prayed out loud at the same time and it was extremely challenging mentally and physically but one of the most meaningful parts of the trip.

The end of the trip came to quickly and I wasnt ready to leave the kids or the culture.  We barely scraped the surface of all there is to learn about the culture but I am so glad I went and was opened up to something so important in this country and so forgotten and ignored.  I wondered again and again what exactly the seperation between the rest of the U.S. and the Navajo Reserations (and other reservations at that) means for them and for us.  I think it is good for them to have their space, teach their culture, but it is so disheartening how little we know about the culture. Its a long debate that I could never find the answer too but I was aware of the loss of their culture in our world and the ignorance and disappointing lack of interest that exists in our culture. I wondered what it would be like if we hadnt ripped them of their rights and culture years and years ago.  I wondered what the future looks like for their culture and thought over and over again about their culture versus others that come to the United States and are treated poorly, ignored, forgotten, expected to assimilate.  I thought about going to schools where each culture teaches each other and was slightly disheartened by the thoughts of impossibility that come with those big ideas, the place our country has come to and the challenge of turning things around. Still, I am so glad I was able to go and learn and open my heart to these people. I left with a deep respect from the Navajo people, a curiosity to learn more and a burning desire to go back someday.

Again, the words dont really do justice.  There were things I struggled with on the trip. Expectations I had of our reflections and experience that were different than planned, challenges, but there was also a ton of self reflection, journaling and a new awareness of my role on that trip, others like it, groups, as a leader, learner, volunteer, and of what all that means for me and life from now forward. I came home to a crazy week of school, SCCAP interviews, friends, work and not enough time to think, but the voices of my kiddos stay with me everyday reminding me to keep pondering it, keep learning from it. Its a really funny thing those week long immersion trips.

The sun is calling my name, time for a beach trip. This weekend has been full of fun and great people. Hanging on the roof on Friday night, bike ride to downtown for dinner, fun run, farmers market and a night of crazy catch phrase last night. Its good to be back, home to this place and people who I love dearly and who I can continue these conversations with. I have lots more in my head so Ill be back. Happy Sunday! xoxoxo