letting go

Hmm.. how do I start this.

My heart feels funny. Torn. Kinda sad to see something so special end. So excited for something new and amazing to begin. Grateful that my life is so good that truly every time one great thing ends another begins. Hopeful that the people in this life know how thankful I am for them.

Friday night was another wonderful night of Young RYLA lovin. Dinner at Miggles, Apples to Apples and fudge stripe cookies and then roof star gazing at Heidi's. So much fun, such amazing out of this world people, such a feeling that I cant explain and that I am reminded of again and again, summer after summer. It is such a special thing and I cannot believe how much of my life it has become. I think about that girl four years ago going to this camp I knew nothing about, excited, nervous but more than anything else... completely unaware of the impact it would have on my life. Of the way it would give and give and give for as long as possible... of the way it would become home.

I dont think I will ever feel like the words I put to this feeling, to the gratitude and the love I have for these people will do justice. Its just too overwhelming of an emotion and love for words to be enough. I have had four years of amazing teams, as a conferee, then 1st and 2nd year. Each year there were those specific ones that I stayed incredibly close too and each year the team felt a little different. This year... I feel like my heart touches EVERY single one of their hearts, like we were meant to live on this planet together and hold each other up and laugh together and never ever let go of this time we had together. Yes, we will get busy and wont stay in touch as well as we should but the love and gratitude I have for this group of people who I watched make the magic happen is something I havent quite felt before.  This year they became a part of me, building Young RYLA has been my baby for the past 10 months and having the most fantastic group of people to implement it all, to make it all real, to put their hearts and souls into every moment feels like the most amazing gift in the world. Im rambling again but the point is... I love each and every one of you JC's and SC's like you are more than family, you have brought so much to my life and changed it more than I ever knew possible.

Young RYLA has given me so much. Strength, love, hope, compassion, leadership skills... the list could go on and on forever. Its so incredibly hard to let go but its almost like it has shaped me and now its time for me to go fly on my own and spread the magic to the rest of the world. It has been such a constant, such a wonderful thing to look forward to, and the perfect place to get together once a summer with the best people in the world. Again, i wish I had words for how much it has done for me, and how thankful I am to have been a part of it all. I know that it has so much more to give and it will continue to change lives forever, so happy that so many more people get to continue to feel this overwhelming emotion and have their lives changed by this program that we are so dang lucky to be a part of.

Debrief yesterday went beautifully, I was worried it would be painful and yea its far from the most enjoyable part but the ideas and thoughtfulness were wonderful. For so many years to come it will only continue to get better. The board decided there would be 2 YRYLAs next year... so freaking exciting. Double the amount of people that get to feel all that I just gushed about, double the JC's to be empowered by the kids, double the love and magic. Its easier to let go of something when you know it will continue to thrive and that it is in the best possible hands. Its a beautiful thing I tell you.

I drove Toria home... my sweet sweet girl who has become so freaking close this year. We chatted about all things life.. boy do I feel so lucky to have her and so many others in my life. Then I talked to Jess forever after I dropped her off... when you talk to someone almost every day since October, a week of not talking seems like forever. We had so much catching up to do and boy am I thankful for that woman :). Then Rubs called... both of us sad to see the end we talked about how special it is, how right it all feels and how we have to keep finding beauty in life. We joked about this being the peak of our life... how there isnt much thats as special. And ya know, in all honesty, theres not, but there are a lot of things that are close and it seems one of those its just a few days away. As we were talking the clouds above Lake Dillon turned this awesome pink and orange and their reflection on the lake was completely unreal.. just a reminder of all the beauty there really is in this world. Its a good life, we are lucky to have each other and this experience and the best we can do is take it and run with it :)

The next big thing is as close as it can be. Summer is coming to a close but it doesnt even feel sad. This summer has been so Young RYLA focused and being at camp was exactly what I needed to get me ready for El Salvador. I was reminded of so much meaning in life, of being genuine, of struggle and of so much hope and love. Im ready to take it with me. Im so very excited to start this new journey and can barely wrap my mind around the fact that it is actually happening right now, right before my eyes.

Im going to be LIVING in Central America, speaking Spanish on the reg and taking some seriously amazing classes. Working in the community and getting to know a group of people on a totally different level. I am so excited, so blown away at the opportunities life hands me, and maybe a little nervous that it is so very soon :). Its time though, life has me right where Im supposed to be :). Ill be back with more thoughts on El Salv.

Thank you Young RYLA for all you have given me, thank you beautiful people in my life for being so out of this world, thank you to this years staff for truly making it the best week we could have asked for! I love you!