Wanna know something realllllyyy cool.
1. I live in California.
2. I HAD THE MOST AMAZING POWDER DAY OF MY LIFE YESTERDAY followed by another day of amazing skiing today.
I didn't ever think those two things would be said in the same conversation.
Seriously... such an amazing weekend. Jes, Kylie and I went up Thursday night. They worked, I relaxed, did some work and lolly gagged on Friday. Had a super cozy dinner while it continued to DUMP outside (it did that ALL day Fri and the wind was sooo strong that almost all of the resorts were closed). Got up for first chair Saturday, when in through a sneaky back route and were the 2nd people on the chair. The area was closed the day before meaning it was COMPLETELY untouched with 4 feet of new snow. We had the entire back bowl pretty much to ourselves and like 10 other people and did lap after lap of untouched powder runs.
Seriously it was amazing. I have never had that much fun skiing and I have had a whole lotta days skiing in my life. Today was sunny and we still got some left over untouched powder.
So freakin great.
Not to mention great food, sleeping conditions and hosting by my bro and Kylie. Gotta love havin them so close and so awesome!
More to come later but just had to document how much this weekend kicked ass. Now I have to sleep, I am sooooo tired.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Its about the human race.
I started writing last night. Giddy off of too much studying, Navajo Nation meeting and just super people I have in my life.
Tonight my heart is a little heavy, but still all the things I was gonna write about yesterday ring true.
My life= writing letters to donors thanking them for their money helping me go to Navajo Nation explaining why Im here, what this place has done for me. Writing a biography about my mama in Spanish explaining why she is so very special to me. Working on my motivation essay for my Casa app. Why do I want to do this? How did I get here? Creating a major, picking classes that seem relevant and important. Trying to figure out what relevant and important means. What am I gonna do with all this, what do I need and want to learn. How can I grow and learn the things I feel necessary to create change.
I guess its really all about change. Its about this girl from a little tiny town, coming to a big place that has stretched the boundaries of my brain. My heart. My soul. A girl who wants people to be helpful, peaceful. Who tells friends "I wish I could give out strength, happiness and love loans... because I have so much" A girl who once thought life was to big for me to figure out, who sometimes wanted to crack and let someone else pick up the pieces, a girl who has been shown and taught values and love and passion that have gotten me to a place that is more than I could have ever imagined.
But really.. its not about any of that at all. It is about people. People from little towns and big towns. Mountains and desserts. Streets and big mansions. It is about people who want peace and love and happiness. People who have seen pain and people who are still suffering minute to minute. It is about change and learning to ride the tide. Its about balance... happiness for sadness, sunshine for rainy days. It is about something bigger than each of us. It is about conflict. Big, huge, scary conflict. It is about the Salvadorans suffering still from the civil war. The Palestineans who are being beat to death, who's houses are being bull dozed, whose live's are being taken, literally and figuratively. It is about the immigrants who are forgotten, pushed away, looked down upon, treated poorly. About the children whose parents are sick and cannot take care of them. The families that work harder than the rest of the world, but still are struggling to put socks on their feet. It is about the teenagers who feel so much pain that life no longer seems an option and it is about all of us... the whole entire world, somewhere, somehow who are in support of someone who is in pain. Who want peace and love and happiness. In some form or another.
It is about so much more than me. Or you. Or one person. It is about us, the human race. Who are connected by so much, and so easily torn apart. It is about change, change that has started in Egypt and Wisconsin and so many other places, change that has happened and so much more change that must keep happening.
Hayley and I sometimes joke about the big hippies we have become. We wonder if everyone goes through this in college and we hope that we can hold onto this. The sentiment, passion, curiosity, love of people and life and need to create justice and walk in solidarity with these people. We hope that we never let go of this fire that has been ignited inside us. And we wonder how people loose it and how you relight it. What is the match and what is the mouth that blows the flame.
I am forever and constantly overwhelmed by this life. The beauty and the pain. The love the hurt. The balance, and the lack thereof.
I am so thankful for this place and this opportunity that has stretched my brain and shown me a different way to see things and so thankful for all the learning and growing and pain and love and emotion and change that is to come.
This life is such a gift. And our responsibility is to do whatever we can to avoid going through it and not seeing meaning, critically looking at the way things are and stretching our heart to others. We have a responsibility to learn and listen and be one with the rest of the human race. We have a responsibility to find the match and light a fire within us.
Tonight my heart is a little heavy, but still all the things I was gonna write about yesterday ring true.
My life= writing letters to donors thanking them for their money helping me go to Navajo Nation explaining why Im here, what this place has done for me. Writing a biography about my mama in Spanish explaining why she is so very special to me. Working on my motivation essay for my Casa app. Why do I want to do this? How did I get here? Creating a major, picking classes that seem relevant and important. Trying to figure out what relevant and important means. What am I gonna do with all this, what do I need and want to learn. How can I grow and learn the things I feel necessary to create change.
I guess its really all about change. Its about this girl from a little tiny town, coming to a big place that has stretched the boundaries of my brain. My heart. My soul. A girl who wants people to be helpful, peaceful. Who tells friends "I wish I could give out strength, happiness and love loans... because I have so much" A girl who once thought life was to big for me to figure out, who sometimes wanted to crack and let someone else pick up the pieces, a girl who has been shown and taught values and love and passion that have gotten me to a place that is more than I could have ever imagined.
But really.. its not about any of that at all. It is about people. People from little towns and big towns. Mountains and desserts. Streets and big mansions. It is about people who want peace and love and happiness. People who have seen pain and people who are still suffering minute to minute. It is about change and learning to ride the tide. Its about balance... happiness for sadness, sunshine for rainy days. It is about something bigger than each of us. It is about conflict. Big, huge, scary conflict. It is about the Salvadorans suffering still from the civil war. The Palestineans who are being beat to death, who's houses are being bull dozed, whose live's are being taken, literally and figuratively. It is about the immigrants who are forgotten, pushed away, looked down upon, treated poorly. About the children whose parents are sick and cannot take care of them. The families that work harder than the rest of the world, but still are struggling to put socks on their feet. It is about the teenagers who feel so much pain that life no longer seems an option and it is about all of us... the whole entire world, somewhere, somehow who are in support of someone who is in pain. Who want peace and love and happiness. In some form or another.
It is about so much more than me. Or you. Or one person. It is about us, the human race. Who are connected by so much, and so easily torn apart. It is about change, change that has started in Egypt and Wisconsin and so many other places, change that has happened and so much more change that must keep happening.
Hayley and I sometimes joke about the big hippies we have become. We wonder if everyone goes through this in college and we hope that we can hold onto this. The sentiment, passion, curiosity, love of people and life and need to create justice and walk in solidarity with these people. We hope that we never let go of this fire that has been ignited inside us. And we wonder how people loose it and how you relight it. What is the match and what is the mouth that blows the flame.
I am forever and constantly overwhelmed by this life. The beauty and the pain. The love the hurt. The balance, and the lack thereof.
I am so thankful for this place and this opportunity that has stretched my brain and shown me a different way to see things and so thankful for all the learning and growing and pain and love and emotion and change that is to come.
This life is such a gift. And our responsibility is to do whatever we can to avoid going through it and not seeing meaning, critically looking at the way things are and stretching our heart to others. We have a responsibility to learn and listen and be one with the rest of the human race. We have a responsibility to find the match and light a fire within us.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Unmistakable Sureness
Have you ever felt like someone nicely, excitedly, gently grabbed your heart and put it on the table and your heart looked up at you and said "HEY DO THIS!!!"
I feel that.
I have never ever in my life felt so sure about something so scary before.
I have felt this feeling of not being able to stop smiling, of goosebumps covering my body, of tears welling up in my eyes, of universe aligning and telling me something here and there.
But I am feelin it big time.
I went to another talk about El Salvador tonight. Called "Do You Love the World Enough to See It?" Father Mark who is one of the main professors, jesuits, souls of the Casa program in El Salvador showed pictures, told stories, showed videos and explained the pillars of the program. But really its the feelings that he conveyed that had my heart on the table jumping all over the place yelling at me that this is where I am supposed to be.
I cant put the feeling into words but El Salvador next fall is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. And my heart is so dang sure of it. Its gonna be scary and hard and its gonna rock my world. But that is exactly what I need. The little giggles of the Salvadoran kids, the connection of with the community, the excitement about classes because what they are teaching is what you are living.. it all sounds like the most perfect thing ever. Scariness, courage, vulnerability, compassion.. opening my heart and my mind and having everything I know get tossed around a little. That is exactly what I need.
I was telling the women of my soul recently that I haven't ever really signed up for a challenge. Life has thrown me some scary stuff, I've shed my fair share of tears, and have been on a rollercoaster ride. And all the ups and downs and what ifs and challenges, those have made me. And although I dont want anybody to feel some of that pain I cannot imagine not experienceing those things... but they really had nothing to do with me. I just happened to be leaning on the tree that fell but I never was the one who really had my roots ripped out and my whole world turned upside down. And even if it felt like it I sure as heck never asked anyone to flip my world for me.
But this time.. Im signing up for it. I'm writing the essays, filling out the application, and choosing to go into a crazy, scary and amazing part of my life. And I couldnt be more excited. Im scared, Im worried I wont be able to speak well, I know Ill be far away. I know Ill have days where Ill wish I could be home where things are how Im used to... but just as much as it will be hard.. it will be amazing. It will show me what matters. It will force me to search deep down into the core of who and what I am and come back still searching but maybe directed more in the way I should be headed.
The feeling is out of this world. And I am so so happy that this is where I am headed and so so very thankful for the people who have helped me to find this direction.
I dont really have the world to sum this up... cause its just the beginning of sooo much. The universe is a crazy force and learning to hear it and feel it is such an important thing
I feel that.
I have never ever in my life felt so sure about something so scary before.
I have felt this feeling of not being able to stop smiling, of goosebumps covering my body, of tears welling up in my eyes, of universe aligning and telling me something here and there.
But I am feelin it big time.
I went to another talk about El Salvador tonight. Called "Do You Love the World Enough to See It?" Father Mark who is one of the main professors, jesuits, souls of the Casa program in El Salvador showed pictures, told stories, showed videos and explained the pillars of the program. But really its the feelings that he conveyed that had my heart on the table jumping all over the place yelling at me that this is where I am supposed to be.
I cant put the feeling into words but El Salvador next fall is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. And my heart is so dang sure of it. Its gonna be scary and hard and its gonna rock my world. But that is exactly what I need. The little giggles of the Salvadoran kids, the connection of with the community, the excitement about classes because what they are teaching is what you are living.. it all sounds like the most perfect thing ever. Scariness, courage, vulnerability, compassion.. opening my heart and my mind and having everything I know get tossed around a little. That is exactly what I need.
I was telling the women of my soul recently that I haven't ever really signed up for a challenge. Life has thrown me some scary stuff, I've shed my fair share of tears, and have been on a rollercoaster ride. And all the ups and downs and what ifs and challenges, those have made me. And although I dont want anybody to feel some of that pain I cannot imagine not experienceing those things... but they really had nothing to do with me. I just happened to be leaning on the tree that fell but I never was the one who really had my roots ripped out and my whole world turned upside down. And even if it felt like it I sure as heck never asked anyone to flip my world for me.
But this time.. Im signing up for it. I'm writing the essays, filling out the application, and choosing to go into a crazy, scary and amazing part of my life. And I couldnt be more excited. Im scared, Im worried I wont be able to speak well, I know Ill be far away. I know Ill have days where Ill wish I could be home where things are how Im used to... but just as much as it will be hard.. it will be amazing. It will show me what matters. It will force me to search deep down into the core of who and what I am and come back still searching but maybe directed more in the way I should be headed.
The feeling is out of this world. And I am so so happy that this is where I am headed and so so very thankful for the people who have helped me to find this direction.
I dont really have the world to sum this up... cause its just the beginning of sooo much. The universe is a crazy force and learning to hear it and feel it is such an important thing
Sunday, February 6, 2011
shmorgashboard of thoughts
Sometimes I come to this blog and the words just flow... my thoughts make sense and when I read it it sounds like I think it should.
Other times I cant make words so I ramble and read it and think that people are gonna think Im crazy.. sometimes I delete it.. sometimes I just give up and post it.
Blogging is a funny thing. But I like it. For me. And for you. And I like reading other peoples thoughts. Its like a reminder that we are all crazy thinkers and we have a lot more in common than we let ourselves believes. And sometimes putting my thoughts into words just validates them for me.
So... if your reading this I apologize for the times that I ramble... please ignore them if you feel it necesarry.
I dont really have perfect thoughts today but I do know a couple things.
This weekend was absolutley fantastic.
Not cause I went on some big adventure or had some crazy collegesque experience or cause i met a nice cute boy... just cause it filled my soul in ways that my soul has appreciated as of late.
Yoga, farmers market, layin in the sun, lots of gigglin, some cooking and baking, and just some really really great people in my life.
It was just a perfect weekend of relaxing and enjoying the simple things that make up life.
It has been mid 70's here all weekend.. we laid out in swim suits.. ITS FEBUARY. Crazy talk. But I like it. And I like that the mountains aren't too far away if Im really cravin some winter.
I love that I have people in my life who I get to do things like yoga and farmers market and days in the sun and talks about nothing and everything all at the same time. This place is amazing.. and I love the feeling of just being with great friends and enjoying each others company.. ya know.
I went to the Kindergarten class at LUCHA on Friday cause they need some more help and working in 3rd grade this year I'd been missin the little ones. THEY ARE SO FREAKIN CUTE. In kindergarten you still think school and teachers are REALLY cool and exciting and by 3rd grade you have already accumulated some attitude. Mind you I love the 3rd graders too but its just a different dynamic and its fun to be in both classrooms and see the similarities and differences. They are real good kiddos and I love spendin my time there.
Yoga... I go through phases with exercise. Last year it was swimming. This fall it was running. Right now its yoga. This place near by is doing a really sweet deal for students so a bunch of us got memberships there which makes it way easier to get there when friends are going too. Some of the classes are super gentle and just relaxing but others are really hard and leave my muscles in need of gentle yoga to heal. BUT I LOVE IT. I love the challenge of getting better and I love that even if Im in pain for a moment in the middle by the end I feel completely relaxed and reenergized. So good for the soul.
I guess thats all. Time is crazy, its already week 6. Which means we are HALFWAY done with this quarter. I dunno how that crap happens. The weeks are so packed full of life that they just fly by, its kinda sad when you think about it.. but exciting too. Oh ya.. Im going to Navajo Nation in Arizona for an immersion trip over Spring Break and Im super duper excited.. I love this place and all the challenges it has for me. I also miss home... its normal I just love that place and those people so much SO Im planning to be there in March! :)
Thats all.. Happy Monday! <3
Other times I cant make words so I ramble and read it and think that people are gonna think Im crazy.. sometimes I delete it.. sometimes I just give up and post it.
Blogging is a funny thing. But I like it. For me. And for you. And I like reading other peoples thoughts. Its like a reminder that we are all crazy thinkers and we have a lot more in common than we let ourselves believes. And sometimes putting my thoughts into words just validates them for me.
So... if your reading this I apologize for the times that I ramble... please ignore them if you feel it necesarry.
I dont really have perfect thoughts today but I do know a couple things.
This weekend was absolutley fantastic.
Not cause I went on some big adventure or had some crazy collegesque experience or cause i met a nice cute boy... just cause it filled my soul in ways that my soul has appreciated as of late.
Yoga, farmers market, layin in the sun, lots of gigglin, some cooking and baking, and just some really really great people in my life.
It was just a perfect weekend of relaxing and enjoying the simple things that make up life.
It has been mid 70's here all weekend.. we laid out in swim suits.. ITS FEBUARY. Crazy talk. But I like it. And I like that the mountains aren't too far away if Im really cravin some winter.
I love that I have people in my life who I get to do things like yoga and farmers market and days in the sun and talks about nothing and everything all at the same time. This place is amazing.. and I love the feeling of just being with great friends and enjoying each others company.. ya know.
I went to the Kindergarten class at LUCHA on Friday cause they need some more help and working in 3rd grade this year I'd been missin the little ones. THEY ARE SO FREAKIN CUTE. In kindergarten you still think school and teachers are REALLY cool and exciting and by 3rd grade you have already accumulated some attitude. Mind you I love the 3rd graders too but its just a different dynamic and its fun to be in both classrooms and see the similarities and differences. They are real good kiddos and I love spendin my time there.
Yoga... I go through phases with exercise. Last year it was swimming. This fall it was running. Right now its yoga. This place near by is doing a really sweet deal for students so a bunch of us got memberships there which makes it way easier to get there when friends are going too. Some of the classes are super gentle and just relaxing but others are really hard and leave my muscles in need of gentle yoga to heal. BUT I LOVE IT. I love the challenge of getting better and I love that even if Im in pain for a moment in the middle by the end I feel completely relaxed and reenergized. So good for the soul.
I guess thats all. Time is crazy, its already week 6. Which means we are HALFWAY done with this quarter. I dunno how that crap happens. The weeks are so packed full of life that they just fly by, its kinda sad when you think about it.. but exciting too. Oh ya.. Im going to Navajo Nation in Arizona for an immersion trip over Spring Break and Im super duper excited.. I love this place and all the challenges it has for me. I also miss home... its normal I just love that place and those people so much SO Im planning to be there in March! :)
Thats all.. Happy Monday! <3
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