Its about the human race.

I started writing last night. Giddy off of too much studying, Navajo Nation meeting and just super people I have in my life.

Tonight my heart is a little heavy, but still all the things I was gonna write about yesterday ring true.

My life= writing letters to donors thanking them for their money helping me go to Navajo Nation explaining why Im here, what this place has done for me. Writing a biography about my mama in Spanish explaining why she is so very special to me.  Working on my motivation essay for my Casa app. Why do I want to do this? How did I get here? Creating a major, picking classes that seem relevant and important. Trying to figure out what relevant and important means. What am I gonna do with all this, what do I need and want to learn. How can I grow and learn the things I feel necessary to create change.

I guess its really all about change.  Its about this girl from a little tiny town, coming to a big place that has stretched the boundaries of my brain. My heart. My soul. A girl who wants people to be helpful, peaceful. Who tells friends "I wish I could give out strength, happiness and love loans... because I have so much" A girl who once thought life was to big for me to figure out, who sometimes wanted to crack and let someone else pick up the pieces, a girl who has been shown and taught values and love and passion that have gotten me to a place that is more than I could have ever imagined.

But really.. its not about any of that at all. It is about people. People from little towns and big towns. Mountains and desserts.  Streets and big mansions. It is about people who want peace and love and happiness. People who have seen pain and people who are still suffering minute to minute.  It is about change and learning to ride the tide. Its about balance... happiness for sadness, sunshine for rainy days. It is about something bigger than each of us. It is about conflict. Big, huge, scary conflict. It is about the Salvadorans suffering still from the civil war. The Palestineans who are being beat to death, who's houses are being bull dozed, whose live's are being taken, literally and figuratively. It is about the immigrants who are forgotten, pushed away, looked down upon, treated poorly. About the children whose parents are sick and cannot take care of them.  The families that work harder than the rest of the world, but still are struggling to put socks on their feet. It is about the teenagers who feel so much pain that life no longer seems an option and it is about all of us... the whole entire world, somewhere, somehow who are in support of someone who is in pain. Who want peace and love and happiness. In some form or another.

It is about so much more than me. Or you. Or one person. It is about us, the human race. Who are connected by so much, and so easily torn apart.  It is about change, change that has started in Egypt and Wisconsin and so many other places, change that has happened and so much more change that must keep happening.

Hayley and I sometimes joke about the big hippies we have become.  We wonder if everyone goes through this in college and we hope that we can hold onto this. The sentiment, passion, curiosity, love of people and life and need to create justice and walk in solidarity with these people. We hope that we never let go of this fire that has been ignited inside us. And we wonder how people loose it and how you relight it.  What is the match and what is the mouth that blows the flame.

I am forever and constantly overwhelmed by this life.  The beauty and the pain. The love the hurt. The balance, and the lack thereof.
I am so thankful for this place and this opportunity that has stretched my brain and shown me a different way to see things and so thankful for all the learning and growing and pain and love and emotion and change that is to come.

This life is such a gift. And our responsibility is to do whatever we can to avoid going through it and not seeing meaning, critically looking at the way things are and stretching our heart to others. We have a responsibility to learn and listen and be one with the rest of the human race.  We have a responsibility to find the match and light a fire within us.