Winter quarter #2 is over... seriously, I do not know how to keep up with life. It flies.. is it always gonna feel like its going this fast?
Im off to Navajo Nation in the morning. A week of turning off from the rest of the world and learning, listening and opening my heart just a little more. We joke about how here at a jesuit school we go on immersion trips over spring break instead of Mexico to go wild... but its really the best thing I could ask for. Im ancy, and ready to be shocked and feel with other people and learn from others and just open my heart and soul. Im ready to be vulnerable and let other people in and hope with all I have that others let me in. I could not think of a better way to spend my spring break.
Mikalia just came on facebook with words that go deeper than so many people's. She's been to the Navajo reservation and reminded me... "me open, graceful and observant and dont let anything get in the way of your connections with the people, they have wonderful stories to share"
I am so very excited. Excited to turn off my phone, be away from this computer and spend time learning from people and with my head and heart.
Ill be back with thoughts and stories and questions. Have a wonderful week! <3
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Soul filling weekend at home
Oh home... what a place.
Its funny how school becomes home and its like out of sight out of my mind. I miss my friends but rarely do I feel home sick and I never wish I would have stayed. But... every single time I come home I fall back in love, and am reminded of how lucky I am, and why I am where I am today.
So many wonderful people in this world that have raised me. Shaped me, held me up, helped me to spread my wings, wiped my tears, cheered me on, listened, laughed at, adventured with... and been a bigger part of my life than anybody else might ever be able to be.
I was so lucky to get to see so many people of my soul. Time in Boulder w/ Ese, Katie and Liv. Home crew time w/ Chels, Tiff, Will, Rich, Zachy and Kaleb and time with my mama, daddio, Susan, Jim, Vic, Ferne and Rolo tomorrow and Kels to send me off. So much love in my life it actually blows my mind. And I'm reminded of my roots, the ones that helped me grow and that will forever ground me in this life that we were so lucky to have. I love the feeling of just knowing people, knowing more about each other than you ever actually need to and just getting things. Having memories that you can talk about for hours, jokes, intertwined families and comfort like nobody knows. This little town has done us well and I am reminded of that when I come home to so much love and the friendships that pick up right where they left of, like nothing has ever changed. We are just best friends, family, that will forever and always be there letting our lives groove back together when they have the chance.
Its so neat how we have all gone our ways, are figuring ourselves out and sometimes our lives feel seperate, but because we grew up so tight, we are all grounded in each others lives and have all become who we are because of each of our experiences. We are level headed and going places and big hearted because we didnt just have one set of parents or siblings to learn from we had a whole network of this family who raised us, showed us different parenting styles, struggled, overcame amazing challenges, and never sheltered us or exposed us to too much or too little. I love you best friends, I love you family, I love that you will always be part of my soul and every time we have the chance to be together, my heart will be full and reminded and my life will always be that much more complete :)
I was talking about the progression of how home feels, when you first come home its really emotional and every little change throws you off. Then with time, it becomes easier to let the little things change, and hold onto the feelings not the constant time together or the way a certain room looks or the perfection of anything. Just the love and family and those big beautiful mountains and star filled skies that at least for a while arent going anywhere. Sometimes it feels like two different lives, but boy are they connected and that just fuels my soul.
On another equally wonderful note, we had our first Young RYLA 2011 Staff get together on Sunday and it was fantastic. SUCH a wonderful group who will help us to make this another out of this world Young RYLA. When you are in a position when you have to make those decisions it gets a little scary, but each and every JC we chose prooved to be even more amazing than we could have hoped and I just cannot wait for the group to learn and grow together, to have this amazing experience, and for Jess and I to have this team of rockstars who we will learn so much from. What an amazing thing to be a part of I tell ya.
Time to study some econ before bed. Getting up in the morning for breakfast with Ferne, coffee with Rolo and then sometime with Kels before the airplane sweeps me away to CA, Econ final, a day of work and than NAVAJO NATION. Boy is my life wonderful. Thank you universe, I couldnt be more thankful.
Happy Wednesday. xoxoxoxo
P.S... as always, a little ping in my heart reminds me that Im leaving again, and that this place is so dang special that everytime I come and go my heart feels it more than my head understands. Back again soon :)
Its funny how school becomes home and its like out of sight out of my mind. I miss my friends but rarely do I feel home sick and I never wish I would have stayed. But... every single time I come home I fall back in love, and am reminded of how lucky I am, and why I am where I am today.
So many wonderful people in this world that have raised me. Shaped me, held me up, helped me to spread my wings, wiped my tears, cheered me on, listened, laughed at, adventured with... and been a bigger part of my life than anybody else might ever be able to be.
I was so lucky to get to see so many people of my soul. Time in Boulder w/ Ese, Katie and Liv. Home crew time w/ Chels, Tiff, Will, Rich, Zachy and Kaleb and time with my mama, daddio, Susan, Jim, Vic, Ferne and Rolo tomorrow and Kels to send me off. So much love in my life it actually blows my mind. And I'm reminded of my roots, the ones that helped me grow and that will forever ground me in this life that we were so lucky to have. I love the feeling of just knowing people, knowing more about each other than you ever actually need to and just getting things. Having memories that you can talk about for hours, jokes, intertwined families and comfort like nobody knows. This little town has done us well and I am reminded of that when I come home to so much love and the friendships that pick up right where they left of, like nothing has ever changed. We are just best friends, family, that will forever and always be there letting our lives groove back together when they have the chance.
Its so neat how we have all gone our ways, are figuring ourselves out and sometimes our lives feel seperate, but because we grew up so tight, we are all grounded in each others lives and have all become who we are because of each of our experiences. We are level headed and going places and big hearted because we didnt just have one set of parents or siblings to learn from we had a whole network of this family who raised us, showed us different parenting styles, struggled, overcame amazing challenges, and never sheltered us or exposed us to too much or too little. I love you best friends, I love you family, I love that you will always be part of my soul and every time we have the chance to be together, my heart will be full and reminded and my life will always be that much more complete :)
I was talking about the progression of how home feels, when you first come home its really emotional and every little change throws you off. Then with time, it becomes easier to let the little things change, and hold onto the feelings not the constant time together or the way a certain room looks or the perfection of anything. Just the love and family and those big beautiful mountains and star filled skies that at least for a while arent going anywhere. Sometimes it feels like two different lives, but boy are they connected and that just fuels my soul.
On another equally wonderful note, we had our first Young RYLA 2011 Staff get together on Sunday and it was fantastic. SUCH a wonderful group who will help us to make this another out of this world Young RYLA. When you are in a position when you have to make those decisions it gets a little scary, but each and every JC we chose prooved to be even more amazing than we could have hoped and I just cannot wait for the group to learn and grow together, to have this amazing experience, and for Jess and I to have this team of rockstars who we will learn so much from. What an amazing thing to be a part of I tell ya.
Time to study some econ before bed. Getting up in the morning for breakfast with Ferne, coffee with Rolo and then sometime with Kels before the airplane sweeps me away to CA, Econ final, a day of work and than NAVAJO NATION. Boy is my life wonderful. Thank you universe, I couldnt be more thankful.
Happy Wednesday. xoxoxoxo
P.S... as always, a little ping in my heart reminds me that Im leaving again, and that this place is so dang special that everytime I come and go my heart feels it more than my head understands. Back again soon :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
Pieces Of Me
I have homework I should be doing. But...I also have thoughts I should be thinking.
Today during yoga.. when my mind was supposed to still I was thinking of how I haven't been very thoughtful lately... haha from the sounds of that I am a complete joke of a yoga goer, and of a thinker in general. I made the thought go away but then later let it come back.
Have I not been very thoughtful because I am just at a peace. And sometimes life just makes sense and you dont have to think too hard about it. Or because I have had life and love and work and school and all sorts of go go go excitement to fill my brain with that it had no time for extra thoughts. Or just cause sometimes... like me with chocolate and eggs or cereal for breakfast and running vs swimming.. the level of thoughtfulness goes through stages.
Anyways, yesterday in the midst of going from one set of homework to a different paper to a different subject to another subject. I stopped, enjoyed a little nutella, laid on my bed and looked at the pictures on my wall. I looked at my brother and my pops and I in Michigan. People and a place that have formed me, like really really formed me. And then at my mama. And my Eric picture at the end of my bed. I thought of family... and what that word means and all the hype and thought and emotion and love that it means. I thought about the times when I have thought my family was the most kick ass in the world, and the times when I wasnt sure how we all could have the same blood. And I thought about how much they have made me me even if sometimes I like to think I am a product of my own doing, I am also a product of theirs.
Today during Spanish I thought of my weekend at home. All the good people I get to see and the feeling of home and family and just comfort, that yes I have found here, but that can never be replaced for what and who will forever be the pieces of the real home. Thinking of my best friends and my second family of my mountains and all the pieces that are so close to my soul. I miss it there, I miss the people, I miss the feeling and am so very excited to get a little refresher course on just how special all the people and feelings that stem from home are this weekend.
Last night walking out of Hayley's room. In between laughs and reassurances that life does make senes and grumbles about the sillyness that it sometimes seems and a final quick "love you". I thought about this life. This place that has become all mine, that is home. That is full of people, places and things that have become such a huge part of me and that someday I will look back on and thank them for forming me.
Earlier, when I got an email about Interact and heard "All For You". I thought about RYLA. About Kelsey and Mik and Rolo. And Heather and Eric and Junior and Jess. And so many of those special people who have left a mark on my heart. And how timing, and life, and some of my own doing all came together to make this camp I went into with no idea what it would be, something that has completely and utterly shaped me. People who have become so close to my heart. And being a part of something that I am afraid to let go of when my time is up this summer. But at the same time.. I know I will take it with me, and it will be time to let someone else have that mark on their heart, that will forever make them wholer.
Sometimes it feels like nothing makes sense. But a heck of a lot of the time it seems like it all just fits. And every person, place, thing, experience, was set right in where they were to make this life just as it is. And for that, I am more thankful than I can put into words. And... more faithful that all the rest that will come and go and change and grow and rock my world... it will be set just where it needs to be and with some work of the universe, and some all on my own... it will all end up pretty darn close to just how it should.
What a great thing to believe in.
Happy thoughts to all you who have formed me in ways bigger than you will ever ever know.
Today during yoga.. when my mind was supposed to still I was thinking of how I haven't been very thoughtful lately... haha from the sounds of that I am a complete joke of a yoga goer, and of a thinker in general. I made the thought go away but then later let it come back.
Have I not been very thoughtful because I am just at a peace. And sometimes life just makes sense and you dont have to think too hard about it. Or because I have had life and love and work and school and all sorts of go go go excitement to fill my brain with that it had no time for extra thoughts. Or just cause sometimes... like me with chocolate and eggs or cereal for breakfast and running vs swimming.. the level of thoughtfulness goes through stages.
Anyways, yesterday in the midst of going from one set of homework to a different paper to a different subject to another subject. I stopped, enjoyed a little nutella, laid on my bed and looked at the pictures on my wall. I looked at my brother and my pops and I in Michigan. People and a place that have formed me, like really really formed me. And then at my mama. And my Eric picture at the end of my bed. I thought of family... and what that word means and all the hype and thought and emotion and love that it means. I thought about the times when I have thought my family was the most kick ass in the world, and the times when I wasnt sure how we all could have the same blood. And I thought about how much they have made me me even if sometimes I like to think I am a product of my own doing, I am also a product of theirs.
Today during Spanish I thought of my weekend at home. All the good people I get to see and the feeling of home and family and just comfort, that yes I have found here, but that can never be replaced for what and who will forever be the pieces of the real home. Thinking of my best friends and my second family of my mountains and all the pieces that are so close to my soul. I miss it there, I miss the people, I miss the feeling and am so very excited to get a little refresher course on just how special all the people and feelings that stem from home are this weekend.
Last night walking out of Hayley's room. In between laughs and reassurances that life does make senes and grumbles about the sillyness that it sometimes seems and a final quick "love you". I thought about this life. This place that has become all mine, that is home. That is full of people, places and things that have become such a huge part of me and that someday I will look back on and thank them for forming me.
Earlier, when I got an email about Interact and heard "All For You". I thought about RYLA. About Kelsey and Mik and Rolo. And Heather and Eric and Junior and Jess. And so many of those special people who have left a mark on my heart. And how timing, and life, and some of my own doing all came together to make this camp I went into with no idea what it would be, something that has completely and utterly shaped me. People who have become so close to my heart. And being a part of something that I am afraid to let go of when my time is up this summer. But at the same time.. I know I will take it with me, and it will be time to let someone else have that mark on their heart, that will forever make them wholer.
Sometimes it feels like nothing makes sense. But a heck of a lot of the time it seems like it all just fits. And every person, place, thing, experience, was set right in where they were to make this life just as it is. And for that, I am more thankful than I can put into words. And... more faithful that all the rest that will come and go and change and grow and rock my world... it will be set just where it needs to be and with some work of the universe, and some all on my own... it will all end up pretty darn close to just how it should.
What a great thing to believe in.
Happy thoughts to all you who have formed me in ways bigger than you will ever ever know.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Hello there. Happy Sunday evening. I hope you had a fantastic weekend.
I dont have anything profound to say, or really anything at all for that matter.
But... I turned in my Casa app, after rewriting my essay three times and being an overanalyzing freak and having small mishaps with recomendations, it all came together, its in and we are that much closer to a semester in El Salvador!
School is insane, exhausting and week 10 "dead week" starts tomorrow. Thing is its more like death week. But we make it through always. The weekend was so productive but not in a not fun weekend kind of way. Friday night I hermitted, started some work, read and went to bed early. Sat we went to the farmers market that I love soo dearly. You can not find a farmers market in early March anywhere near Leadville and the fruit and veggies here are just soo good and fresh. Its fantastic. I did a whole bunch of homework and hung out with some good people. And now... Im ready for bed. But I still have some more homework ahead of me. Its all good though, I like the feeling of being productive and on top of things, a whole lot.
Im going home next weekend. And I couldnt be more excited for a weekend of relaxing, meeting the 2011 Young RYLA team (SOOO EXCITING) seeing my best friends and spending time with my mama. Perfect cure for the exhaustion and stress of the last couple weeks of school and just good for the soul.
Then I come back, take a final and am off to Arizona for a week in the Navajo Nation with a group of really great people. Super excited for that too. Ive been waiting to do an immersion trip forever and thing that this is gonna be such a cool experience.
Thats all.. I told ya, nothing exciting.
But... check out http://www.addingtothemaddness.blogspot.com and the awesomeness that is going on in my super cool cousins' lives. Tonight and tomorrow morning all you have to do is press "like" twice on a facebook picture contest to help them bring their sweet little boy home. I dreamt about him the other night and he's the perfect fit to add to the love and excitement and joy that they have created with their fun family. They also have a ipad giveaway happening right now! Keep up to date with their blog for lots of ways to help and to follow their exciting and scary adoption journey.
Have a great week, take sometime to breath and look at the pictures on your wall and appreciate all that this life is. Cause even in the midst of writing papers, working on projects and feeling like life is non stop there is so dang much to be so happy about. It makes every word worth writing and every minute of work totally worth it.
See you in a week Colorado, cant wait!
<3
I dont have anything profound to say, or really anything at all for that matter.
But... I turned in my Casa app, after rewriting my essay three times and being an overanalyzing freak and having small mishaps with recomendations, it all came together, its in and we are that much closer to a semester in El Salvador!
School is insane, exhausting and week 10 "dead week" starts tomorrow. Thing is its more like death week. But we make it through always. The weekend was so productive but not in a not fun weekend kind of way. Friday night I hermitted, started some work, read and went to bed early. Sat we went to the farmers market that I love soo dearly. You can not find a farmers market in early March anywhere near Leadville and the fruit and veggies here are just soo good and fresh. Its fantastic. I did a whole bunch of homework and hung out with some good people. And now... Im ready for bed. But I still have some more homework ahead of me. Its all good though, I like the feeling of being productive and on top of things, a whole lot.
Im going home next weekend. And I couldnt be more excited for a weekend of relaxing, meeting the 2011 Young RYLA team (SOOO EXCITING) seeing my best friends and spending time with my mama. Perfect cure for the exhaustion and stress of the last couple weeks of school and just good for the soul.
Then I come back, take a final and am off to Arizona for a week in the Navajo Nation with a group of really great people. Super excited for that too. Ive been waiting to do an immersion trip forever and thing that this is gonna be such a cool experience.
Thats all.. I told ya, nothing exciting.
But... check out http://www.addingtothemaddness.blogspot.com and the awesomeness that is going on in my super cool cousins' lives. Tonight and tomorrow morning all you have to do is press "like" twice on a facebook picture contest to help them bring their sweet little boy home. I dreamt about him the other night and he's the perfect fit to add to the love and excitement and joy that they have created with their fun family. They also have a ipad giveaway happening right now! Keep up to date with their blog for lots of ways to help and to follow their exciting and scary adoption journey.
Have a great week, take sometime to breath and look at the pictures on your wall and appreciate all that this life is. Cause even in the midst of writing papers, working on projects and feeling like life is non stop there is so dang much to be so happy about. It makes every word worth writing and every minute of work totally worth it.
See you in a week Colorado, cant wait!
<3
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