Pieces Of Me

I have homework I should be doing. But...I also have thoughts I should be thinking.

Today during yoga.. when my mind was supposed to still I was thinking of how I haven't been very thoughtful lately... haha from the sounds of that I am a complete joke of a yoga goer, and of a thinker in general. I made the thought go away but then later let it come back.
Have I not been very thoughtful because I am just at a peace. And sometimes life just makes sense and you dont have to think too hard about it. Or because I have had life and love and work and school and all sorts of go go go excitement to fill my brain with that it had no time for extra thoughts. Or just cause sometimes... like me with chocolate and eggs or cereal for breakfast and running vs swimming.. the level of thoughtfulness goes through stages.

Anyways, yesterday in the midst of going from one set of homework to a different paper to a different subject to another subject. I stopped, enjoyed a little nutella, laid on my bed and looked at the pictures on my wall. I looked at my brother and my pops and I in Michigan. People and a place that have formed me, like really really formed me. And then at my mama. And my Eric picture at the end of my bed. I thought of family... and what that word means and all the hype and thought and emotion and love that it means. I thought about the times when I have thought my family was the most kick ass in the world, and the times when I wasnt sure how we all could have the same blood. And I thought about how much they have made me me even if sometimes I like to think I am a product of my own doing, I am also a product of theirs.

Today during Spanish I thought of my weekend at home. All the good people I get to see and the feeling of home and family and just comfort, that yes I have found here, but that can never be replaced for what and who will forever be the pieces of the real home. Thinking of my best friends and my second family of my mountains and all the pieces that are so close to my soul. I miss it there, I miss the people, I miss the feeling and am so very excited to get a little refresher course on just how special all the people and feelings that stem from home are this weekend.

Last night walking out of Hayley's room. In between laughs and reassurances that life does make senes and grumbles about the sillyness that it sometimes seems and a final quick "love you". I thought about this life. This place that has become all mine, that is home. That is full of people, places and things that have become such a huge part of me and that someday I will look back on and thank them for forming me.

Earlier, when I got an email about Interact and heard "All For You". I thought about RYLA. About Kelsey and Mik and Rolo. And Heather and Eric and Junior and Jess. And so many of those special people who have left a mark on my heart. And how timing, and life, and some of my own doing all came together to make this camp I went into with no idea what it would be, something that has completely and utterly shaped me. People who have become so close to my heart. And being a part of something that I am afraid to let go of when my time is up this summer. But at the same time.. I know I will take it with me, and it will be time to let someone else have that mark on their heart, that will forever make them wholer.

Sometimes it feels like nothing makes sense. But a heck of a lot of the time it seems like it all just fits. And every person, place, thing, experience, was set right in where they were to make this life just as it is. And for that, I am more thankful than I can put into words. And... more faithful that all the rest that will come and go and change and grow and rock my world... it will be set just where it needs to be and with some work of the universe, and some all on my own... it will all end up pretty darn close to just how it should.

What a great thing to believe in.

Happy thoughts to all you who have formed me in ways bigger than you will ever ever know.