Catching the Contagious Passion to Fight for Something More

Ive been meaning to blog for a long time now. So often I come home from an amazing day and want to share it with the world. Then I get caught up in whatever I have to do or am too exhausted and the weeks and things I want to write about add up… then I have no idea where to start. 

March 8^th was International Women’s Day. We were on the first day of our Silent Retreat at these beautiful hot spring pools a couple hours away. As I sat in the pool in silence I thought about what it means to be a woman. The challenges, especially around our bodies that society has told us has to be something in order for us to have worth. That we have to act a certain way, receive a certain grade or a list of things to make everyone else happy. With a group of six female students I just wanted to tell them each how worthy, beautiful and whole they are exactly as they are. And I really want to tell that to every single woman in the world. Sometimes I joke that being here has made my feminist inklings rage. And I actually hate that feminism and raging are so frequently connected. Being here has deepened my gratitude, love and amazement at all of the women in this world and has broken my heart at the injustice, suffering, lack of appreciation and inequality that so many face simply for being women. Yes when I am whistled at and objectified on the street I feel anger burning inside me…but I think it is justified. Most the time what I feel is so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by women who hold their families together, who get up every morning, who give and give with a smile despite how little they receive. Their strength and faith inspires me, the depth and beauty of their hearts and souls make me want to fight for them, for us. But I think it is stronger here because although still stifled often for being a woman, my voice can be louder than so many of the women I encounter here. And in the sisterhood I feel with them I feel a responsibility to fight for our rights and worthiness as women- unique, whole, broken, beautiful, universe’s inside each of us.

A couple weeks afterwards I went to an International Women’s Day event in the community I spend one day a week in. Surrounded by about 100 other women we sang “Mujer Salvadorena” and other songs, talked about what International Women’s Day means, sexual and reproductive rights and Eco Feminisim. It was incredible. These are things that don’t get talked about in this country. ESPECIALLY sexual and reproductive rights. And to be surrounded by women that are so often forced to be silent hearing them talk about their rights, was so empowering and inspiring. We women continue to defy and overcome the barriers that are so often put in our way.. and for this I am so grateful to be a woman.

Later that night we loaded up two busses and went to the annual Romero Vigil. Oscar Arnulfo Romero was selected to be the Archbishop of El Salvador in 1977. The hierarchy of the Catholic Church selected him thinking he would be a quiet, conservative archbishop who wouldn’t rock the boat. Others, like his dear friend Rutillio Grande (the first priest killed in the Salvadoran civil war) knew that he would be an archbishop for the people. Romero had a conversion and spent three years preaching about the rights of the poor, spending time with them in communities and denouncing the brutal actions of the Salvadoran Civil Army. He was shot while saying mass in 1980 and his death marked the official beginning of the 12 year war.

Romero is a hero for the people of El Salvador. And the way his legacy lives on is something I can’t fully understand. Yet in a time of deep injustice, suffering, fear, loss and pain- Romero was with the people, fighting for their rights, listening to their stories, walking with them while their government (and ours) took thousands of innocent lives. They believe Jesus passed through El Salvador in Romero, they are pushing for him to be a canonized saint and to this day his example gives strength and energy to so many in the fight for justice.

Every year the anniversary of his death is commemorated with a march, mass and all night vigil which consists of stories, music and celebration. Being a part of it this year was amazing. As we marched we did chants for justice, following Romero’s example and feeling his legacy run through our blood as a responsibility to carry it on. We walked a few miles to where his body is buried and had mass outside the Cathedral. During mass I felt frustrated because I couldn’t hear anything and was disconnected from the significance of the night. Luckily I didn’t leave on the first bus and soon was on fire with the energy of the people around me, so connected to the history of this country- so impacted by Romero. A few of us stayed with a big group of the Salvadoran students in our sister program.  Dancing with my amazing Salvadoran friends, I was so amazed at the energy with which they sang along to songs about Romero, the war and stories that really matter. They got so excited when some of their favorite songs came on and in their eyes you could see the ways these songs energize them to sigue adelante, to overcome the many barriers that are placed before them by their reality of poverty and marginalization and commit themselves to a better reality.  By the end of the night my cheeks hurt from smiling so much and my feet hurt from all the dancing.. I think those are signs of an evening well lived.

I am always amazed by the way the youth are connected to their history. They have heard their parent’s stories of the war and some only a few years older than us have their own memories. They see the ways people like Romero touched the lives of their family and they are unhappy with the reality they find themselves in today. Many leave to the United States, others succumb to the way things are because there seems no other options. But the ones I spend the majority of my time with have chosen something different- because they follow the examples of so many before them who believe something different is possible. And watching their eyes light up as they sung a long to the songs about justice I caught fire to the contagion of committing yourself to something bigger.

I feel so lucky to be surrounded by so many people who inspire me to work for something more and as I soak in how amazing this job and life are it’s scary to think that it is soon coming to an end. I am making big decisions for the next step and dreaming of ways to carry this home with me everyday. But for now trying to stay present here and let the example of these people become a part of me.