Because They Took the Old One

A few weeks ago I accompanied a group of students on an immersion trip to Chiapas, Mexico. It was an incredibly trip full of learning and heart moving and reflecting together about our place in this world. So many things moved through me- but this poem I wrote after driving away from one of the most impactful parts of the trip.

Today we sat in a circle on the floor of Casa del Migrante
Five Salvadorans sat with us
They left home four days ago
And will walk for at least a month more

"The risk to stay in our country
 is greater than the risk of this journey"
They tell stories of robberies, kidnapping and sexual assault
"But in my home I can't work, I can't go to school"
"They told me January wouldn't come for me,
that they would kill me over Christmas"

Tears streamed down my face
That country I love so deeply
Is no longer a place fit for living.
Their home can no longer be home.
Yet those words don't do justice
To the depth of pain in their eyes.

"It's hard to decide to leave your family
But I think you're country will be different
It will be different there"

More tears fall as I imagine sweet Arely in the U.S.
Yes she will be safer.
She will not receive gang threats
Or be afraid to step out her door.

Yet so many things will threaten her.
ICE. Discrimination. Isolation
A continued struggle to find work and survive.
But- she will be safer.

"We are trying to make a new life
because they took our old one from us"

"We'll stay a couple days until her feel heal"
"We met on the camino, we didn't want her to walk alone,
Donde vas mija?"
"Somos una familia"

They will protect her and each other
But who knows what the road holds ahead
Someone could die
She may be raped
They could get caught or sent back.

The road ahead is so unknown, so dangerous,
so full of risk.
Yet they reminded us the risk is worth it
because the risk to stay home is greater.

How did we get here?
How are we in such pain that gangs control our homes?
And then migration police control our choices, dreams and desires for a better life?
Our attempts to take care of our children and families
Our attempts to stay alive?

God. We are failing
We are failing so miserably

And listening to their stories
I am so overwhelmed,
Lost in a world of questions
About what we can possibly do
How will it get better?

My heart breaks so many times entering this reality
But I never want to stop letting it break.
My tears feel meaningless compared to hers
But I will keep crying them

Help me find a way to fight and walk and be with the people of our world
Who are forgotten, who are hurting, who keep fighting for their lives.

Give me the strength to engage with the hurt.
The courage to imagine something different.
And help me find the path to live into some answers.
Or even just one