Oh three day weekends, how I love you. And this was a seriously good one.
Easter means a whole heck of a lot to a lot of people, nothing to others and somewhere in between for lots. For us, its somewhere in between. Its not really about the bible or church or the resurection, and maybe it should be but I like what its about. And I think for a lot of people its about what it has become for us... family, spring time and good food.
My weekend was fantastic. Railroad Revival Thursday night, really good music in a really sweet spot right on the bay looking over the city. Then a sweet run in San Francisco by the water Friday before driving up to Tahoe with Jes and Kylie, a really fun 24 hours in Tahoe and then down to Santa Cruz for Easter with Kylie's family. Tahoe was gross springy weather (the unfun snowy yucky kind not the pretty kind) but great snow and good skiing. And it was great to spend Easter with a family. I missed mine, the quirks, the chaos, the traditions that you dont even realize are traditions until you dont have them, and just the comfort and understanding, but I was really lucky to be welcomed into another family for a little bit of all of that. Jes and I went to the beach and had lunch together after, and I will always be a sucker for some brother time. Its pretty cool that I live in this place where I can ski one day and then go to the beach the next, and run in the sunshine surrounding that too. I like it.. I think Ill stay a while.
I ran to the Rose Gardens for the first time since fall (they are pretty depressing in the winter) and it was SOOO wonderful. The roses are starting to bloom and so are the people. The park was filled with cute families having easter egg hunts, picnics, hide and seek in the roses, flying kites, hula hooping and all the wonderful things you do in the spring time and on Easter when you are spending your day enjoying your family. I love it... family is a good thing, even if it took me a while to figure that out. Speaking off.. I finally decided/ succumbed to the fact that I will be living at home this summer. I keep saying its gonna be the last time and it keeps not happening but I think thats ok. There is something to be said for home.. mama, mountains, this little lifestyle that has a huge place in my heart. It just makes the most sense, Ill work some and play in the mountains and be close enough to go see friends when its necessary and I wont be paying rent and will be able to live without a car. So Leadville.. Ill see ya in June <3
Life is really good.
Its week 5 already which is insane and there is lots of good stuff coming. The rest of spring quarter which honestly Im not ready to let go of yet. This year has been even better than the last.
Summa filled with RYLA and some homestyle lovin
and then... drumroll please
EL SALVADOR... its calling me. Im getting less nervous and starting to realize that its real and it just feels so dang right. Im ready to speak spanish. And learn. And see. And just have something new and exciting and scary. Its gonna be freakin great.
But Im in no rush to get there, it will come when its time :) Happy Easter weekend, hope you enjoyed some family, spring and good food and whatever else it is that makes your Easter special :)
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
stream of consciousness
I havent been very good at getting here. Partly cause this quarter seriously has been one of the busiest yet... I think, I dont really know where the last three weeks have gone. And partly because theres too much goin on in my brain to put into words.
We had our spring SCCAP retreat last weekend. The last one with this staff. And it was absolutely in more ways than I can say out of this world. Just to give you a little idea of how it all went down. Beach house in Capitola, 20 some out of this world SCCAPers, riding on a year of fantasticness together, beach olympics, reflections, cooking together, 12 people in a hot tub, serious amounts of love, freezing ocean swimming, sunshine, all sorts of sillyness, and so much more packed into less than 48 hours. It was fantastic. And a good reminder, motivator, inspiration to make the last quarter even better than the last, and just to stop and think. I cant believe a year ago we were being interviewed and going on our first akward retreat. I cant believe we are almost bidding ado to the 2010/2011 SCCAP staff. I also cannot believe its almost the end of sophomore year... Ill save that for later though.
I was just reminded of how much SCCAP has done for me. So many great people to call family, the decision to go to El Salvador, learning lots about myself and the world and so much more has come since that phone call giving me the PC position. Such good stuff man.
Casa in the fall has been spending all sorts of time in my head. Called my dad today to figure out my plane ticket, didnt quite get the response I was hopin for, but... its all part of the deal. Its hard to explain how connected to it I feel already, how much it has already become something I feel like is ingrained in this experience, so exciting and new and real and scary and so many things. So many things that I cant quite articulate when my dad doesn't jump for joy when I call asking about buying a plane ticket. So many things that seem so much more relevant to me than the 700 dollars. Money forever is a pain in the butt, but wherever the 700 dollars comes from I know in 4 and a half months it will be the most irrelevant thing in the world and completely out of this world worth the uncomfortable, somewhat annoying conversation around it. And man am I thankful that I can see that.
I was feeling a little angsty earlier wondering how Im gonna pay for this ticket, where my summer will end up, how to pick out a dress for this occasion that I cant quite understand... but then. I brainstormed about Young RYLA. Sometimes when one idea comes they just flow and I get all excited and I see the love between the counselors and the looks on the kiddos faces at the end of the week and Im reminded why wherever I am this summer will be ok and why planning Young RYLA is exactly where I am supposed to be even when I have friends who will be traveling the world. Ill get there someday.
I had a fantastic weekend and didnt even realize it happening. I have the coolest best friend in the world and we laughed about how we have only known each other for over a year and it feels like forever. We went to the beach yesterday and just watched the waves, played in the sand and came home. Totally low key weekend with yoga, global village, homework and a run tonight but good stuff. Sunshine. Good friends. Laughin. Playin. Its a good life man.
Davey is coming to visit me in two weeks and I am so dang excited. Ive been raving to my friends about him and just cant wait for the adventures I know he'll bring along, so great to bring people from home to this place and just get to share all of the goodness on both sides.
Mandy and I are gonna do the Iron Bronco... teams of two-three do whats equal to a Triathalon in a two week span.. 26.something miles of running, 2ish of swimming and lots of biking. A little roomie bonding, shes a good one I tell ya.
Sorry for this somewhat random stream of consciousness blog, it was time for an update. Hope you have good stuff to fill your days with, if not come hang out with me, I got lots to go around :) XOXOX
We had our spring SCCAP retreat last weekend. The last one with this staff. And it was absolutely in more ways than I can say out of this world. Just to give you a little idea of how it all went down. Beach house in Capitola, 20 some out of this world SCCAPers, riding on a year of fantasticness together, beach olympics, reflections, cooking together, 12 people in a hot tub, serious amounts of love, freezing ocean swimming, sunshine, all sorts of sillyness, and so much more packed into less than 48 hours. It was fantastic. And a good reminder, motivator, inspiration to make the last quarter even better than the last, and just to stop and think. I cant believe a year ago we were being interviewed and going on our first akward retreat. I cant believe we are almost bidding ado to the 2010/2011 SCCAP staff. I also cannot believe its almost the end of sophomore year... Ill save that for later though.
I was just reminded of how much SCCAP has done for me. So many great people to call family, the decision to go to El Salvador, learning lots about myself and the world and so much more has come since that phone call giving me the PC position. Such good stuff man.
Casa in the fall has been spending all sorts of time in my head. Called my dad today to figure out my plane ticket, didnt quite get the response I was hopin for, but... its all part of the deal. Its hard to explain how connected to it I feel already, how much it has already become something I feel like is ingrained in this experience, so exciting and new and real and scary and so many things. So many things that I cant quite articulate when my dad doesn't jump for joy when I call asking about buying a plane ticket. So many things that seem so much more relevant to me than the 700 dollars. Money forever is a pain in the butt, but wherever the 700 dollars comes from I know in 4 and a half months it will be the most irrelevant thing in the world and completely out of this world worth the uncomfortable, somewhat annoying conversation around it. And man am I thankful that I can see that.
I was feeling a little angsty earlier wondering how Im gonna pay for this ticket, where my summer will end up, how to pick out a dress for this occasion that I cant quite understand... but then. I brainstormed about Young RYLA. Sometimes when one idea comes they just flow and I get all excited and I see the love between the counselors and the looks on the kiddos faces at the end of the week and Im reminded why wherever I am this summer will be ok and why planning Young RYLA is exactly where I am supposed to be even when I have friends who will be traveling the world. Ill get there someday.
I had a fantastic weekend and didnt even realize it happening. I have the coolest best friend in the world and we laughed about how we have only known each other for over a year and it feels like forever. We went to the beach yesterday and just watched the waves, played in the sand and came home. Totally low key weekend with yoga, global village, homework and a run tonight but good stuff. Sunshine. Good friends. Laughin. Playin. Its a good life man.
Davey is coming to visit me in two weeks and I am so dang excited. Ive been raving to my friends about him and just cant wait for the adventures I know he'll bring along, so great to bring people from home to this place and just get to share all of the goodness on both sides.
Mandy and I are gonna do the Iron Bronco... teams of two-three do whats equal to a Triathalon in a two week span.. 26.something miles of running, 2ish of swimming and lots of biking. A little roomie bonding, shes a good one I tell ya.
Sorry for this somewhat random stream of consciousness blog, it was time for an update. Hope you have good stuff to fill your days with, if not come hang out with me, I got lots to go around :) XOXOX
Sunday, April 3, 2011
learning from kindergarteners
Good morning world. Its been a while. Lots has been happening in my little world.
Im sitting on the balcony in the sun, its beautiful and springy here and has been all week. Its been the perfect weekend to start of spring quarter. Life is dang good.
1st.... Navajo Nation. Im not exactly sure what words to use. It was a wonderful week, different than I expected but wonderful. The Navajo people are a beautiful culture. Something we are so sadly ignorant about and something so rich is history and meaning. I am so glad I went to learn about their life, to understand how different but even more how similar their lives are to ours. We spent our days in the local boarding school. A school that was started to strip the people of their culture, teach them English and integrate them into the "dominate society". Thankfully, our country has made progress and now Tuba City Boarding School includes Navajo culture classes, the walls are covered in posters in both Navajo and English, showing the values and traditions of both cultures. Still, the Navajo culture is slowly diminishing, in my kindergarten class I had to ask ten kids before I could find one that could count to ten in Navajo, their traditional language. Our leader is Navajo and he was not taught Navajo when he was young because his parents were beat at school if they spoke it, today he is trying to relearn the culture, but stories like that are widespread.
The kindergarten class that I was in was just like any other kindergarten class, 22 five and six year olds learning, tattling on each other, wanting me to "play it" with them. The kids were the most amazing part of the week, raw and real and too young to be trying to be anything yet but just letting me into their lives. Just like the kids at LUCHA or West Park or even many of the prestigious white private schools, their home lives were not easy, something that is easy to sometimes ignore and forget. They are dealing with divorce, neglect, poverty, single parents, fighting, addiction, things that are everywhere but like the kids at LUCHA they have fewer resources and support systems to help them survive through the scariness of life and make it out of high school heading for college and a life that they can make better for themselves. Only 7% of the Navajo population recieves a Bachelors and even less recieve further education. Their little voices ring in my head and the eyes of some particular ones who you could tell were struggling, it was so hard to leave them after a week with them but I can only hope that my time there was half as meaningful to them as it was to me and I truly hope that someday I can go back and be with the Navajo people again.
In the evenings we learned about the culture from locals, art, traditional clothing, music, traditional stories and the sweat lodge experience gave us a taste of the culture. The sweat lodge was an amazing experience. Something very deep rooted in the culture and sacred. We did three rounds of at least 45 mins in the small sweat lodge made from cedar wood and just barely big enough for all of us to fit sitting with our knees to our chests so close to everyone else. Every round it got hotter and we were cleansing something else. 1st body, then mind and lastly spirit. Everyone prayed out loud at the same time and it was extremely challenging mentally and physically but one of the most meaningful parts of the trip.
The end of the trip came to quickly and I wasnt ready to leave the kids or the culture. We barely scraped the surface of all there is to learn about the culture but I am so glad I went and was opened up to something so important in this country and so forgotten and ignored. I wondered again and again what exactly the seperation between the rest of the U.S. and the Navajo Reserations (and other reservations at that) means for them and for us. I think it is good for them to have their space, teach their culture, but it is so disheartening how little we know about the culture. Its a long debate that I could never find the answer too but I was aware of the loss of their culture in our world and the ignorance and disappointing lack of interest that exists in our culture. I wondered what it would be like if we hadnt ripped them of their rights and culture years and years ago. I wondered what the future looks like for their culture and thought over and over again about their culture versus others that come to the United States and are treated poorly, ignored, forgotten, expected to assimilate. I thought about going to schools where each culture teaches each other and was slightly disheartened by the thoughts of impossibility that come with those big ideas, the place our country has come to and the challenge of turning things around. Still, I am so glad I was able to go and learn and open my heart to these people. I left with a deep respect from the Navajo people, a curiosity to learn more and a burning desire to go back someday.
Again, the words dont really do justice. There were things I struggled with on the trip. Expectations I had of our reflections and experience that were different than planned, challenges, but there was also a ton of self reflection, journaling and a new awareness of my role on that trip, others like it, groups, as a leader, learner, volunteer, and of what all that means for me and life from now forward. I came home to a crazy week of school, SCCAP interviews, friends, work and not enough time to think, but the voices of my kiddos stay with me everyday reminding me to keep pondering it, keep learning from it. Its a really funny thing those week long immersion trips.
The sun is calling my name, time for a beach trip. This weekend has been full of fun and great people. Hanging on the roof on Friday night, bike ride to downtown for dinner, fun run, farmers market and a night of crazy catch phrase last night. Its good to be back, home to this place and people who I love dearly and who I can continue these conversations with. I have lots more in my head so Ill be back. Happy Sunday! xoxoxo
Im sitting on the balcony in the sun, its beautiful and springy here and has been all week. Its been the perfect weekend to start of spring quarter. Life is dang good.
1st.... Navajo Nation. Im not exactly sure what words to use. It was a wonderful week, different than I expected but wonderful. The Navajo people are a beautiful culture. Something we are so sadly ignorant about and something so rich is history and meaning. I am so glad I went to learn about their life, to understand how different but even more how similar their lives are to ours. We spent our days in the local boarding school. A school that was started to strip the people of their culture, teach them English and integrate them into the "dominate society". Thankfully, our country has made progress and now Tuba City Boarding School includes Navajo culture classes, the walls are covered in posters in both Navajo and English, showing the values and traditions of both cultures. Still, the Navajo culture is slowly diminishing, in my kindergarten class I had to ask ten kids before I could find one that could count to ten in Navajo, their traditional language. Our leader is Navajo and he was not taught Navajo when he was young because his parents were beat at school if they spoke it, today he is trying to relearn the culture, but stories like that are widespread.
The kindergarten class that I was in was just like any other kindergarten class, 22 five and six year olds learning, tattling on each other, wanting me to "play it" with them. The kids were the most amazing part of the week, raw and real and too young to be trying to be anything yet but just letting me into their lives. Just like the kids at LUCHA or West Park or even many of the prestigious white private schools, their home lives were not easy, something that is easy to sometimes ignore and forget. They are dealing with divorce, neglect, poverty, single parents, fighting, addiction, things that are everywhere but like the kids at LUCHA they have fewer resources and support systems to help them survive through the scariness of life and make it out of high school heading for college and a life that they can make better for themselves. Only 7% of the Navajo population recieves a Bachelors and even less recieve further education. Their little voices ring in my head and the eyes of some particular ones who you could tell were struggling, it was so hard to leave them after a week with them but I can only hope that my time there was half as meaningful to them as it was to me and I truly hope that someday I can go back and be with the Navajo people again.
In the evenings we learned about the culture from locals, art, traditional clothing, music, traditional stories and the sweat lodge experience gave us a taste of the culture. The sweat lodge was an amazing experience. Something very deep rooted in the culture and sacred. We did three rounds of at least 45 mins in the small sweat lodge made from cedar wood and just barely big enough for all of us to fit sitting with our knees to our chests so close to everyone else. Every round it got hotter and we were cleansing something else. 1st body, then mind and lastly spirit. Everyone prayed out loud at the same time and it was extremely challenging mentally and physically but one of the most meaningful parts of the trip.
The end of the trip came to quickly and I wasnt ready to leave the kids or the culture. We barely scraped the surface of all there is to learn about the culture but I am so glad I went and was opened up to something so important in this country and so forgotten and ignored. I wondered again and again what exactly the seperation between the rest of the U.S. and the Navajo Reserations (and other reservations at that) means for them and for us. I think it is good for them to have their space, teach their culture, but it is so disheartening how little we know about the culture. Its a long debate that I could never find the answer too but I was aware of the loss of their culture in our world and the ignorance and disappointing lack of interest that exists in our culture. I wondered what it would be like if we hadnt ripped them of their rights and culture years and years ago. I wondered what the future looks like for their culture and thought over and over again about their culture versus others that come to the United States and are treated poorly, ignored, forgotten, expected to assimilate. I thought about going to schools where each culture teaches each other and was slightly disheartened by the thoughts of impossibility that come with those big ideas, the place our country has come to and the challenge of turning things around. Still, I am so glad I was able to go and learn and open my heart to these people. I left with a deep respect from the Navajo people, a curiosity to learn more and a burning desire to go back someday.
Again, the words dont really do justice. There were things I struggled with on the trip. Expectations I had of our reflections and experience that were different than planned, challenges, but there was also a ton of self reflection, journaling and a new awareness of my role on that trip, others like it, groups, as a leader, learner, volunteer, and of what all that means for me and life from now forward. I came home to a crazy week of school, SCCAP interviews, friends, work and not enough time to think, but the voices of my kiddos stay with me everyday reminding me to keep pondering it, keep learning from it. Its a really funny thing those week long immersion trips.
The sun is calling my name, time for a beach trip. This weekend has been full of fun and great people. Hanging on the roof on Friday night, bike ride to downtown for dinner, fun run, farmers market and a night of crazy catch phrase last night. Its good to be back, home to this place and people who I love dearly and who I can continue these conversations with. I have lots more in my head so Ill be back. Happy Sunday! xoxoxo
Saturday, March 19, 2011
open, graceful and observant
Winter quarter #2 is over... seriously, I do not know how to keep up with life. It flies.. is it always gonna feel like its going this fast?
Im off to Navajo Nation in the morning. A week of turning off from the rest of the world and learning, listening and opening my heart just a little more. We joke about how here at a jesuit school we go on immersion trips over spring break instead of Mexico to go wild... but its really the best thing I could ask for. Im ancy, and ready to be shocked and feel with other people and learn from others and just open my heart and soul. Im ready to be vulnerable and let other people in and hope with all I have that others let me in. I could not think of a better way to spend my spring break.
Mikalia just came on facebook with words that go deeper than so many people's. She's been to the Navajo reservation and reminded me... "me open, graceful and observant and dont let anything get in the way of your connections with the people, they have wonderful stories to share"
I am so very excited. Excited to turn off my phone, be away from this computer and spend time learning from people and with my head and heart.
Ill be back with thoughts and stories and questions. Have a wonderful week! <3
Im off to Navajo Nation in the morning. A week of turning off from the rest of the world and learning, listening and opening my heart just a little more. We joke about how here at a jesuit school we go on immersion trips over spring break instead of Mexico to go wild... but its really the best thing I could ask for. Im ancy, and ready to be shocked and feel with other people and learn from others and just open my heart and soul. Im ready to be vulnerable and let other people in and hope with all I have that others let me in. I could not think of a better way to spend my spring break.
Mikalia just came on facebook with words that go deeper than so many people's. She's been to the Navajo reservation and reminded me... "me open, graceful and observant and dont let anything get in the way of your connections with the people, they have wonderful stories to share"
I am so very excited. Excited to turn off my phone, be away from this computer and spend time learning from people and with my head and heart.
Ill be back with thoughts and stories and questions. Have a wonderful week! <3
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Soul filling weekend at home
Oh home... what a place.
Its funny how school becomes home and its like out of sight out of my mind. I miss my friends but rarely do I feel home sick and I never wish I would have stayed. But... every single time I come home I fall back in love, and am reminded of how lucky I am, and why I am where I am today.
So many wonderful people in this world that have raised me. Shaped me, held me up, helped me to spread my wings, wiped my tears, cheered me on, listened, laughed at, adventured with... and been a bigger part of my life than anybody else might ever be able to be.
I was so lucky to get to see so many people of my soul. Time in Boulder w/ Ese, Katie and Liv. Home crew time w/ Chels, Tiff, Will, Rich, Zachy and Kaleb and time with my mama, daddio, Susan, Jim, Vic, Ferne and Rolo tomorrow and Kels to send me off. So much love in my life it actually blows my mind. And I'm reminded of my roots, the ones that helped me grow and that will forever ground me in this life that we were so lucky to have. I love the feeling of just knowing people, knowing more about each other than you ever actually need to and just getting things. Having memories that you can talk about for hours, jokes, intertwined families and comfort like nobody knows. This little town has done us well and I am reminded of that when I come home to so much love and the friendships that pick up right where they left of, like nothing has ever changed. We are just best friends, family, that will forever and always be there letting our lives groove back together when they have the chance.
Its so neat how we have all gone our ways, are figuring ourselves out and sometimes our lives feel seperate, but because we grew up so tight, we are all grounded in each others lives and have all become who we are because of each of our experiences. We are level headed and going places and big hearted because we didnt just have one set of parents or siblings to learn from we had a whole network of this family who raised us, showed us different parenting styles, struggled, overcame amazing challenges, and never sheltered us or exposed us to too much or too little. I love you best friends, I love you family, I love that you will always be part of my soul and every time we have the chance to be together, my heart will be full and reminded and my life will always be that much more complete :)
I was talking about the progression of how home feels, when you first come home its really emotional and every little change throws you off. Then with time, it becomes easier to let the little things change, and hold onto the feelings not the constant time together or the way a certain room looks or the perfection of anything. Just the love and family and those big beautiful mountains and star filled skies that at least for a while arent going anywhere. Sometimes it feels like two different lives, but boy are they connected and that just fuels my soul.
On another equally wonderful note, we had our first Young RYLA 2011 Staff get together on Sunday and it was fantastic. SUCH a wonderful group who will help us to make this another out of this world Young RYLA. When you are in a position when you have to make those decisions it gets a little scary, but each and every JC we chose prooved to be even more amazing than we could have hoped and I just cannot wait for the group to learn and grow together, to have this amazing experience, and for Jess and I to have this team of rockstars who we will learn so much from. What an amazing thing to be a part of I tell ya.
Time to study some econ before bed. Getting up in the morning for breakfast with Ferne, coffee with Rolo and then sometime with Kels before the airplane sweeps me away to CA, Econ final, a day of work and than NAVAJO NATION. Boy is my life wonderful. Thank you universe, I couldnt be more thankful.
Happy Wednesday. xoxoxoxo
P.S... as always, a little ping in my heart reminds me that Im leaving again, and that this place is so dang special that everytime I come and go my heart feels it more than my head understands. Back again soon :)
Its funny how school becomes home and its like out of sight out of my mind. I miss my friends but rarely do I feel home sick and I never wish I would have stayed. But... every single time I come home I fall back in love, and am reminded of how lucky I am, and why I am where I am today.
So many wonderful people in this world that have raised me. Shaped me, held me up, helped me to spread my wings, wiped my tears, cheered me on, listened, laughed at, adventured with... and been a bigger part of my life than anybody else might ever be able to be.
I was so lucky to get to see so many people of my soul. Time in Boulder w/ Ese, Katie and Liv. Home crew time w/ Chels, Tiff, Will, Rich, Zachy and Kaleb and time with my mama, daddio, Susan, Jim, Vic, Ferne and Rolo tomorrow and Kels to send me off. So much love in my life it actually blows my mind. And I'm reminded of my roots, the ones that helped me grow and that will forever ground me in this life that we were so lucky to have. I love the feeling of just knowing people, knowing more about each other than you ever actually need to and just getting things. Having memories that you can talk about for hours, jokes, intertwined families and comfort like nobody knows. This little town has done us well and I am reminded of that when I come home to so much love and the friendships that pick up right where they left of, like nothing has ever changed. We are just best friends, family, that will forever and always be there letting our lives groove back together when they have the chance.
Its so neat how we have all gone our ways, are figuring ourselves out and sometimes our lives feel seperate, but because we grew up so tight, we are all grounded in each others lives and have all become who we are because of each of our experiences. We are level headed and going places and big hearted because we didnt just have one set of parents or siblings to learn from we had a whole network of this family who raised us, showed us different parenting styles, struggled, overcame amazing challenges, and never sheltered us or exposed us to too much or too little. I love you best friends, I love you family, I love that you will always be part of my soul and every time we have the chance to be together, my heart will be full and reminded and my life will always be that much more complete :)
I was talking about the progression of how home feels, when you first come home its really emotional and every little change throws you off. Then with time, it becomes easier to let the little things change, and hold onto the feelings not the constant time together or the way a certain room looks or the perfection of anything. Just the love and family and those big beautiful mountains and star filled skies that at least for a while arent going anywhere. Sometimes it feels like two different lives, but boy are they connected and that just fuels my soul.
On another equally wonderful note, we had our first Young RYLA 2011 Staff get together on Sunday and it was fantastic. SUCH a wonderful group who will help us to make this another out of this world Young RYLA. When you are in a position when you have to make those decisions it gets a little scary, but each and every JC we chose prooved to be even more amazing than we could have hoped and I just cannot wait for the group to learn and grow together, to have this amazing experience, and for Jess and I to have this team of rockstars who we will learn so much from. What an amazing thing to be a part of I tell ya.
Time to study some econ before bed. Getting up in the morning for breakfast with Ferne, coffee with Rolo and then sometime with Kels before the airplane sweeps me away to CA, Econ final, a day of work and than NAVAJO NATION. Boy is my life wonderful. Thank you universe, I couldnt be more thankful.
Happy Wednesday. xoxoxoxo
P.S... as always, a little ping in my heart reminds me that Im leaving again, and that this place is so dang special that everytime I come and go my heart feels it more than my head understands. Back again soon :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
Pieces Of Me
I have homework I should be doing. But...I also have thoughts I should be thinking.
Today during yoga.. when my mind was supposed to still I was thinking of how I haven't been very thoughtful lately... haha from the sounds of that I am a complete joke of a yoga goer, and of a thinker in general. I made the thought go away but then later let it come back.
Have I not been very thoughtful because I am just at a peace. And sometimes life just makes sense and you dont have to think too hard about it. Or because I have had life and love and work and school and all sorts of go go go excitement to fill my brain with that it had no time for extra thoughts. Or just cause sometimes... like me with chocolate and eggs or cereal for breakfast and running vs swimming.. the level of thoughtfulness goes through stages.
Anyways, yesterday in the midst of going from one set of homework to a different paper to a different subject to another subject. I stopped, enjoyed a little nutella, laid on my bed and looked at the pictures on my wall. I looked at my brother and my pops and I in Michigan. People and a place that have formed me, like really really formed me. And then at my mama. And my Eric picture at the end of my bed. I thought of family... and what that word means and all the hype and thought and emotion and love that it means. I thought about the times when I have thought my family was the most kick ass in the world, and the times when I wasnt sure how we all could have the same blood. And I thought about how much they have made me me even if sometimes I like to think I am a product of my own doing, I am also a product of theirs.
Today during Spanish I thought of my weekend at home. All the good people I get to see and the feeling of home and family and just comfort, that yes I have found here, but that can never be replaced for what and who will forever be the pieces of the real home. Thinking of my best friends and my second family of my mountains and all the pieces that are so close to my soul. I miss it there, I miss the people, I miss the feeling and am so very excited to get a little refresher course on just how special all the people and feelings that stem from home are this weekend.
Last night walking out of Hayley's room. In between laughs and reassurances that life does make senes and grumbles about the sillyness that it sometimes seems and a final quick "love you". I thought about this life. This place that has become all mine, that is home. That is full of people, places and things that have become such a huge part of me and that someday I will look back on and thank them for forming me.
Earlier, when I got an email about Interact and heard "All For You". I thought about RYLA. About Kelsey and Mik and Rolo. And Heather and Eric and Junior and Jess. And so many of those special people who have left a mark on my heart. And how timing, and life, and some of my own doing all came together to make this camp I went into with no idea what it would be, something that has completely and utterly shaped me. People who have become so close to my heart. And being a part of something that I am afraid to let go of when my time is up this summer. But at the same time.. I know I will take it with me, and it will be time to let someone else have that mark on their heart, that will forever make them wholer.
Sometimes it feels like nothing makes sense. But a heck of a lot of the time it seems like it all just fits. And every person, place, thing, experience, was set right in where they were to make this life just as it is. And for that, I am more thankful than I can put into words. And... more faithful that all the rest that will come and go and change and grow and rock my world... it will be set just where it needs to be and with some work of the universe, and some all on my own... it will all end up pretty darn close to just how it should.
What a great thing to believe in.
Happy thoughts to all you who have formed me in ways bigger than you will ever ever know.
Today during yoga.. when my mind was supposed to still I was thinking of how I haven't been very thoughtful lately... haha from the sounds of that I am a complete joke of a yoga goer, and of a thinker in general. I made the thought go away but then later let it come back.
Have I not been very thoughtful because I am just at a peace. And sometimes life just makes sense and you dont have to think too hard about it. Or because I have had life and love and work and school and all sorts of go go go excitement to fill my brain with that it had no time for extra thoughts. Or just cause sometimes... like me with chocolate and eggs or cereal for breakfast and running vs swimming.. the level of thoughtfulness goes through stages.
Anyways, yesterday in the midst of going from one set of homework to a different paper to a different subject to another subject. I stopped, enjoyed a little nutella, laid on my bed and looked at the pictures on my wall. I looked at my brother and my pops and I in Michigan. People and a place that have formed me, like really really formed me. And then at my mama. And my Eric picture at the end of my bed. I thought of family... and what that word means and all the hype and thought and emotion and love that it means. I thought about the times when I have thought my family was the most kick ass in the world, and the times when I wasnt sure how we all could have the same blood. And I thought about how much they have made me me even if sometimes I like to think I am a product of my own doing, I am also a product of theirs.
Today during Spanish I thought of my weekend at home. All the good people I get to see and the feeling of home and family and just comfort, that yes I have found here, but that can never be replaced for what and who will forever be the pieces of the real home. Thinking of my best friends and my second family of my mountains and all the pieces that are so close to my soul. I miss it there, I miss the people, I miss the feeling and am so very excited to get a little refresher course on just how special all the people and feelings that stem from home are this weekend.
Last night walking out of Hayley's room. In between laughs and reassurances that life does make senes and grumbles about the sillyness that it sometimes seems and a final quick "love you". I thought about this life. This place that has become all mine, that is home. That is full of people, places and things that have become such a huge part of me and that someday I will look back on and thank them for forming me.
Earlier, when I got an email about Interact and heard "All For You". I thought about RYLA. About Kelsey and Mik and Rolo. And Heather and Eric and Junior and Jess. And so many of those special people who have left a mark on my heart. And how timing, and life, and some of my own doing all came together to make this camp I went into with no idea what it would be, something that has completely and utterly shaped me. People who have become so close to my heart. And being a part of something that I am afraid to let go of when my time is up this summer. But at the same time.. I know I will take it with me, and it will be time to let someone else have that mark on their heart, that will forever make them wholer.
Sometimes it feels like nothing makes sense. But a heck of a lot of the time it seems like it all just fits. And every person, place, thing, experience, was set right in where they were to make this life just as it is. And for that, I am more thankful than I can put into words. And... more faithful that all the rest that will come and go and change and grow and rock my world... it will be set just where it needs to be and with some work of the universe, and some all on my own... it will all end up pretty darn close to just how it should.
What a great thing to believe in.
Happy thoughts to all you who have formed me in ways bigger than you will ever ever know.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Hello there. Happy Sunday evening. I hope you had a fantastic weekend.
I dont have anything profound to say, or really anything at all for that matter.
But... I turned in my Casa app, after rewriting my essay three times and being an overanalyzing freak and having small mishaps with recomendations, it all came together, its in and we are that much closer to a semester in El Salvador!
School is insane, exhausting and week 10 "dead week" starts tomorrow. Thing is its more like death week. But we make it through always. The weekend was so productive but not in a not fun weekend kind of way. Friday night I hermitted, started some work, read and went to bed early. Sat we went to the farmers market that I love soo dearly. You can not find a farmers market in early March anywhere near Leadville and the fruit and veggies here are just soo good and fresh. Its fantastic. I did a whole bunch of homework and hung out with some good people. And now... Im ready for bed. But I still have some more homework ahead of me. Its all good though, I like the feeling of being productive and on top of things, a whole lot.
Im going home next weekend. And I couldnt be more excited for a weekend of relaxing, meeting the 2011 Young RYLA team (SOOO EXCITING) seeing my best friends and spending time with my mama. Perfect cure for the exhaustion and stress of the last couple weeks of school and just good for the soul.
Then I come back, take a final and am off to Arizona for a week in the Navajo Nation with a group of really great people. Super excited for that too. Ive been waiting to do an immersion trip forever and thing that this is gonna be such a cool experience.
Thats all.. I told ya, nothing exciting.
But... check out http://www.addingtothemaddness.blogspot.com and the awesomeness that is going on in my super cool cousins' lives. Tonight and tomorrow morning all you have to do is press "like" twice on a facebook picture contest to help them bring their sweet little boy home. I dreamt about him the other night and he's the perfect fit to add to the love and excitement and joy that they have created with their fun family. They also have a ipad giveaway happening right now! Keep up to date with their blog for lots of ways to help and to follow their exciting and scary adoption journey.
Have a great week, take sometime to breath and look at the pictures on your wall and appreciate all that this life is. Cause even in the midst of writing papers, working on projects and feeling like life is non stop there is so dang much to be so happy about. It makes every word worth writing and every minute of work totally worth it.
See you in a week Colorado, cant wait!
<3
I dont have anything profound to say, or really anything at all for that matter.
But... I turned in my Casa app, after rewriting my essay three times and being an overanalyzing freak and having small mishaps with recomendations, it all came together, its in and we are that much closer to a semester in El Salvador!
School is insane, exhausting and week 10 "dead week" starts tomorrow. Thing is its more like death week. But we make it through always. The weekend was so productive but not in a not fun weekend kind of way. Friday night I hermitted, started some work, read and went to bed early. Sat we went to the farmers market that I love soo dearly. You can not find a farmers market in early March anywhere near Leadville and the fruit and veggies here are just soo good and fresh. Its fantastic. I did a whole bunch of homework and hung out with some good people. And now... Im ready for bed. But I still have some more homework ahead of me. Its all good though, I like the feeling of being productive and on top of things, a whole lot.
Im going home next weekend. And I couldnt be more excited for a weekend of relaxing, meeting the 2011 Young RYLA team (SOOO EXCITING) seeing my best friends and spending time with my mama. Perfect cure for the exhaustion and stress of the last couple weeks of school and just good for the soul.
Then I come back, take a final and am off to Arizona for a week in the Navajo Nation with a group of really great people. Super excited for that too. Ive been waiting to do an immersion trip forever and thing that this is gonna be such a cool experience.
Thats all.. I told ya, nothing exciting.
But... check out http://www.addingtothemaddness.blogspot.com and the awesomeness that is going on in my super cool cousins' lives. Tonight and tomorrow morning all you have to do is press "like" twice on a facebook picture contest to help them bring their sweet little boy home. I dreamt about him the other night and he's the perfect fit to add to the love and excitement and joy that they have created with their fun family. They also have a ipad giveaway happening right now! Keep up to date with their blog for lots of ways to help and to follow their exciting and scary adoption journey.
Have a great week, take sometime to breath and look at the pictures on your wall and appreciate all that this life is. Cause even in the midst of writing papers, working on projects and feeling like life is non stop there is so dang much to be so happy about. It makes every word worth writing and every minute of work totally worth it.
See you in a week Colorado, cant wait!
<3
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