t minus 10 days

12:03 am. August 29th.
t-minus ten days til road trip to California commences
4 days of work
4 days of visiting CU/CSU 
2 days of family visiting


4+4+2=10... = 0 days for Michelle to pack/say goodbyes/get my life together. WHOA


Tonight i planned out the next ten days and in realizing all the things that were on the to do list by then I realized maybe I should get on it. I worked on my room, packed a little, ordered a cord to transfer things from my old computer and feel a little bit better about the fact that IM RUNNING OUT OF TIME. WHOA!!!!! Im gonna see a lot of people before I go. But it just still always seems like there wont be enough time to see everyone.  Silly. But... I will get it all done, I will say my goodbyes, pack my bags, and be on my way to the land of best friends, adventures, learning, growing and making steps towards real life. And I am so so excited for that.


I filled another bag of give away clothes tonight. My room is dwindling.  Each time I go through it there is a little more space, a little less me, a little less history.  Its weird. Crazy how slowly it will just evaporate as my room. Im not sure if I'd rather that or a blunt move all my stuff out.  I felt the last chapter slipping away more and more. Looked at the shirts we made in high school and wondered how I would ever be able to get rid of those.  Finally threw away shirts from middle school, ski clothes I no longer need since I don't ski 7 days a week anymore, pajama pants that have been around for years and years of life.  Things that have in a weird way defined my life, that are just cloth but have meaning, some sort of connection to a past I am moving on from.  But being able to throw some of the stuff away was so good. Knowing that so much of that past is with me wherever I go without the shirts and random junk and silly memorabilia.  It is part of me and the shirts that take up space to remind me aren't as necessary as I grow into a shaped person, with all the ingredients since day one coming together to make me :)


Its exciting stuff getting ready to go back there. So much is waiting for me.  An open book for me to fill the pages of.  For me to make my journey out of.  A place that I am whole heartedly in love with, my eyes light up when I talk about it and that I have missed everyday for the last three months.  Still, the goodbyes, the transition, the flipping through the chapters, always hits a little spot in my heart reminding me of what all this means :)


So its time again to soak it up. Soak up the mountain air.  The blue sky, the stars.  The mamma, the big room and the big bed.  The best friends near by. The memories, the life that I have created here. Time to fill myself full of this life, this world so I can take it with me back to that one. And that I am going to do. Im going to Boulder and Fort Collins to soak up the time with the best friends, stopping here and there to see people, fitting things in, making last minute plans.  And in the midst of all that giving me sometime to process and enjoy and just be. Cause that is the gift of life.. to just be.


Off to dream land :) xoxoxo