open, honest, beautiful conversations

Hmm... it is dang near my bed time but I keep thinking of writing and then never getting here.

My life is quite the life. Sometimes, or more than sometimes this summer while I have been home I have worried about the insignificance of my summer, the lack of meaning in my life and the lack of that feeling of so alive and grateful and soaking up all the juices of this life.

As much as I love Leadville the pace is a little slow and every moment is not filled with learning, growing and amazing conversations. Yet when I stop and sit back I am reminded of how full of meaning my life is and how many amazing beautiful people I have just a phone call or even quick walk away to remind me of that.

The last few days have been filled with wonderful phone calls and skype dates... Cara, Kelsey, Margot all brought their beautiful views on life right back into mine. A drive around the lake with Katie to just chat. Honest, open, real, and meaningful conversations are easily my most favorite thing on the planet. This summer I have been having them with my mama more than anyone else, something I could not be more grateful for. And the last couple days chats have been such good reminders of how beautiful life is, how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life and how meaningful it really is for me to be home this summer. To be home planning Young RYLA and learning from my amazing Co Head, Chair and team of kick ass counselors. To be home with my mom spending time with her, getting along like we never have before, talking openly and honestly about the challenges that life has thrown us and how we will forever continue to grow and learn together.

If I wasnt home this summer I wouldnt have gone to a Rockies game with my pops tonight. Our annual father/ daughter outing where he teaches me a little more about baseball, mining, driving, whatever seems significant to him in that moment. Where we sing the Star Spangled banner and eat peanuts together. Where our relationship that seems too quiet for me is just what it is, and even if we are sitting quietly next to each other we are enjoying each others company.

I also wouldn't be able to go the the 25th Anniversary of RYLA Celebration tomorrow. I am so very excited. This summer is so much about Young RYLA and really it has all kind of become a way of life for me. I will be back at the YMCA in Estes where it all started with a team mate, my JC, my SC and at least one of the Head JC's that were there and integral in the week that started this all for me. I really think RYLA helped to put me on the right track. Life wasnt necessarily peachy keen in high school and I wasnt necessarily the most aware, loving, giving, compassionate person in the world. RYLA rocked my world and taught me about support and love and giving and learning and challenges becoming strength. And today, 4 years since I went to RYLA... it has shaped me in more ways than I could have ever imagined. So many out of this world people have come into my life, some just for one week or a fraction of that week and some that will last forever... plus everything in between. But their faces flash through my head, their stories, their love, their optimism and all of the lessons that they taught me. I could go on forever but literally, Im not just saying this, RYLA has changed my life. And I couldn't be more excited to celebrate it tomorrow with some of the most important people who have made it go and have continued to spread that love all over the world. Its a beautiful thing I tell ya.

El Salvador is creeping closer and closer and closer. One month and one day away and I will land in this country that I have heard so much about. I will land in the next journey, challenge, amazing experience. I will meet people that will become best friends and some that already have. I will have my world rocked. We signed up for praxis sites and housing and got the book list for a few of our classes. I talked to Margot today about how surreal it is, how excited we are. How much time we have spent thinking about it and how soon it is coming. As much as I struggle with it now and then I think this summer is maybe exactly what I need before I go. A little down time, sometime with my mom, sometime to just let my brain be before there is more meaning and confusion and questions and beauty and complexity in my life that I know what to do with. But boy am I excited.

There is so little time left in this summer and I really wanna enjoy it. I also am at peace with the fact that I am not constantly in awe with life and experiencing all sorts of exhilaration, I am experiencing it all on a different level that is equally good for the soul...

Thank you beautiful people in my life for the forever reminders.. Young RYLA training and all the conversations I have been so lucky to have had this past week have woke me up a little and helped me to think a little more about where Im at... in a beautiful place, just as every other moment...