that feeling

Hellooo,
   I have been horrible horrible horrible about writing. Ive tried a few times but the words just didnt come as much as they should have. My inspiration and thoughtfulness just comes to me differently at home than it does at school when Im constantly being pushed to learn and grow.
   The transition home is always a little bit of a challenge, just such a different pace. Young RYLA, coffee shop and time with my mama have filled the majority of my time. Visits to Boulder and FoCo, some time with the crew, sledding on 4th of July and my fair share of time on the couch reading have also defined my summer. Nothing extremely exciting but good for the soul in its own way.

Young RYLA training was this weekend. Words cant describe the feeling it brought, especially when Im still running on fumes after I used so much energy and got so little sleep this weekend. I had butterflies Friday worrying about how on earth I would get across to them what I felt was important. How would I create a team and that sense of excitement, respect and responsibility that makes Young RYLA go. Less than an hour into our time with the team all that was gone and my level of confidence in the way this year will work had sky rocketed. We have the most amazing team and I dont have a worry in the world about how they will do at camp. They are gonna kick some serious butt.

Its funny being in this role and trying to find exactly what my role means. Guide them, love them, support them... my motherly instincts come out but more so I just wanna be their best friends. We want them to look up to us and respect us but I want there to be mutual respect and to feel like equals. I wanna joke and laugh with them and let them lead themselves more so than I lead them. They are making our job so easy and I just feel so lucky to have such an amazing time. The emotions were flowing and I left with this huge sense of pride, joy and excitement. This all really will come together and we have such a great group to pick up our slack that its ok for me to be human, its all gonna work out wonderfully.

It was funny sitting there watching the slide show, pictures from our 1st year flashed across the screen and something hit me. Young RYLA has become such a definitive part of my life, the people, the memories, the lessons... they have all been such a huge part of where I was and who I have become and this is my last year to give it all I have. Its so exciting to see the first years coming in and how much greatness is ahead of them, its so cool to think of how far Ive come as a person and as an active player in the Young RYLA game. I feel so lucky and the amazing people who have come into my life though this beautiful thing really mean more than they will ever know, and this weekend a whole new batch of beautiful relationships sprouted, I cant wait to see them blossom.

I feel blessed. I feel grateful, excited, proud, relieved, confident and exhausted. I was reminded why I am doing this and the meaning of my summer slapped me across the face. Im right where I am supposed to be (who would of thought ;))

Not to mention, my favorite 4 year old (HOLY WOW...4 years) Just gave me a beautiful toe nail paint job and I get to spend the day with her tomorrow before going back to my mama who has become such a special part of my summer. Sometimes I struggle trying to find the beauty, inspiration, meaning and excitment in my life. Its there I tell ya, sometimes I just gotta let life give me some down time to prepare me.

Thanks for the reminder Young RYLA team, you are the best I could ask for! XOXOXOX