excited :)

hello there :)


i have the house to myself tonight...my mama has a big test tomorrow morning in denver so she went down tonight. and im sitting here drinking tea cozied up with my fleece blanky... kinda boring but also kinda wonderful :) earlier today i was in a funk...it was a couple day long funk. told zachy i was having a mid summer crisis ;) sometimes to unfunk i just gotta feel it and be annoyed and frustrated and bored and confused and torn.. and usually once i feel it and write and distract myself a little then im fine. and chamomile tea, yoga pants and my super soft blanket usually make me feel pretty good about life. i have so much to write about..sometimes i like to just not think too hard and let it be, but then my head gets kinda clogged up, thats probably the reason for the funk.


first of all, RYLA NORTH AMERICA.. i should of wrote about this a long time ago, but I was exhausted and busy and working and just never got to it. of course. 
but.. it was absolutely amazing out of this world. and over and over and over again i just feel so out of this world lucky to be a part of all that rotary has allowed me to be a part of.. and to have RYLA guide my life and continue to teach and inspire and expose me to so much life and passion and opportunity. This was just that, another so wonderful experience that ignited my passion for life all over again and exposed me to so much that made me excited to live and give and do and pass the RYLA on forever and for always. I met so many amazing people who are doing such great things with their life and was totally encouraged all over again about my sociology major that so many people look down upon.  We explored D.C. and danced and laughed and learned so much about each other in such a short time and held onto the time we had in a room full of people who are passionate and have so much to give.  Im so excited to take all that I have learned with me through the rest of my life. and to give to someone else all that Rotary has given to me.  And I am so in love with the fact that my RYLA journey will not end and will be a life long journey of giving and learning and passion and amazing experiences... it is one amazing organization and I am just so dang lucky to be a part of it. Life is incredibly good to me :)


Speaking of good to me... I am feeling incredibly torn between here and school lately. Not like it matters.. I mean Im here til I go back and then Im there. But... Im absolutely loving the mountains.. hopping on my bike and just being out in the beautifulness and being able to hike and run and just be outside.  Having these amazing views and skies surround me all day everyday.  And I love being close to all of these amazing friends I have.  And then my heart is still at the Clara.. i miss that place, I miss the learning and growing and doing, I miss my friends and living on my own.. having life be on my terms.  I just have the best of both worlds.. but its weird how much I love both.
And then there are times when I want nothing more than to get the heck out of here... but really I love it. And I wonder how I will ever live anywhere else in the summer. Its starting to freak me out that this might be the last one here.. the summers are just so perfect and full of things to do outside.. I cant imagine living somewhere hot and cityish in the summer when your supposed to play outside and sit on rocks by lakes and talk about life and watch the stars. Hmm.. we'll see where life takes me, but there are such great things about this place that I am really learning to love this summer.


I've been thinking a lot about what Im gonna do with my life lately. Kind of.. more just about all these things I want to do and can do and am going to do. First of all.. Im thinking of adding an international business minor. So it'd be sociology and community kid thingy majors plus that minor. I dunno if its possible but if it is I really like the idea of it.  I think that international relations are really interesting (even more so after RYLA NA) and we dont have just an international relations program. I also think that business skills are useful.. no matter what your doing in your life.  And the mix of all those things could be really really awesome.   We talked a lot about doing lots of different things through out your life and eventually them all coming together.. and its starting to connect for me, I have faith that I am gonna find something I love and am gonna do something that matters. And that life is all gonna work out just fine even though Im not going to school to make money :) and that is extremely comforting. Im excited to go back to school and put this all back into life.. to learn and to be so excited about it all. Im excited for next summer and studying abroad and forever. I dont feel like Im running out of time I feel like I have so much time and so many amazing things to do with that time. Im just so so excited :) its wonderful


Young RYLA starts in a week and I couldnt be more excited. Its such an important part of my life and I am so ready to go back and to share all of these feelings with my kiddos and learn so much from them and the other amazing counselors. To build relationships and feel it all to the max. To laugh and to cry with these kids who dont know anything more than what they are stuck with at home, to watch them learn about themselves and build a network of support, to become confident, inspired and ready to go home and face the world.  I cant wait.. its gonna be out of this world.


K im off to bed.. glad I finally got some thoughts out, always more..Ill try to be better. 
XOXOX