focusing my energy on peach tea, a weekend with zachy, and all that is good in the world

Im sitting at my desk, drinking peach tea and eating a trader joe's salad.  Buying a plane ticket. Reading great blogs. And watched an inspiring story. My Zachy was here all weekend.  SEARCH in 4 days, Thanksgiving break in 11 and home in a month. Life is good.

I have been in a funk. I funked all last week cause of boredom with school. Frusteration with silly little life things. Then even in the midst of Zachy being here this weekend I funked about my family. About some love and understanding he brought with him that allowed me to bring somethings that I put aside to the forefront of my brain for a bit and had me a little bit teary eyed here and there.

We had the best weekend.  Playing, adventuring, wrestling, talking about all the things we talk about, and dreaming up life.  I am so glad he came, to un funk me and to let me feel. To let me be a little upset about a couple things in my life that despite trying to forget, still are a little off, and are a little be worth being upset about.  He heard me out and got it, like nobody does.  He cuddled with me like only a best friend can and fit right into this here life.  It was fantastic.

I called my mama today exhausted, sad that he had left. And frusterated with people in my life who aren't always what I want them to be. And she listened to me and helped me and told me it'd all be ok. I love that about mama's. And i love that even when you try to be strong and do it alone in the end you end up calling the mama and letting go, having red eyes and being told it'd be ok. And hearing "we can count down the days now" (til we see each other) really made my heart feel a whole lot better.

I reminded myself today and Zachy reminded me this weekend that I need to focus my energy on doing well in school so Im not frusterated, on going for runs so I feel better, on friendships that make me feel good, on all the things that are good in my life... NOT on the frusterations and exhuastions and miss understanding. Cause really, its just a waste of energy.

Im ready for a break... but I gotta get there first. Im excited to be home at Christmas but Im also excited for the next 4 weeks before that. Life is good. And frustrations and exhaustion and misunderstandings and WHY ME's... those happen.  But if they bog you down, thats when your in trouble. So... even if Im funking... Im gonna focus my energy somewhere else. <3