Vamos a pasearnos

"Vamos a pasearnos" they keep saying... what the heck does pasearnos mean? They can't really ever explain it.. just "vamos a pasearnos" Slowly I've learned to stop asking exactly what we are going to do when we are going to "pasearnos".. I've started to find a balance of when to ask questions and when to just wait and see... this is a wait and see occasion.

Pasear literally means "to walk" but it is used more so kind of as "to hang out". Sometimes it means we are going to get in the car and cruise around Oviedo with music blasting and the windows down, sometimes it means we are going to sit outside and drink terere (cold mate), every now and then it might mean going for a walk and this past weekend it meant going to Mass in another city and then stopping at seemingly every single family members house to say hello.

Basically it means we are going to be together.. doing what exactly is another story, but lately that doesn't matter as much because I so appreciate the time to just be together. In all this time paseandonos these relationships have been deepening and finding their way into my heart. The time we've spent "paseando" has started to make this place feel like home and today when I think about getting on a plane in two weeks it tugs on my heart strings a little.

Nina Eludia is the cleaning lady in the office and since the beginning I had a feeling she'd be someone I'd come to love. She's like the mama of the office, asking how everyone is, giving advice when we need it and going out to get everyone breakfast in the morning. Lately I've been going with her to get breakfast to curb my boredom in the office and to take advantage of some one on one time with this incredible loving mujer. She asks me about my life and tells me about hers and we just pasearnos. But from that little time together I feel so much closer to her. She tells me about her kids and how she used to live in Asuncion when there were just cows and not so much noise. She asks if my life is rushed at home, about school and if I work. She tells me about the challenges but more so the joys of her life, how hard she works but how in a year she will be able to work less and have more time with her kids. She's a little more vulnerable and real, so loving and just wonderful. And yesterday she asked how she could keep in touch when I left.. and I felt my heart skip a beat reminded again that "paseandonos" really makes a difference.

Last week I went to a meeting with Christina in a town about an hour away. Transportation is a challenge for her especially because she is the rural asesora and works with committees outside of Oviedo. She only has a moto (like most of the women) and it is too dangerous to take out of the city. So she takes the bus or sometimes finds friends that are willing to drive her to her different committee meetings. We took the bus in the morning to a town about an hour and a half away called San Juaquin, went to her meeting, stopped to see some friends and family and then sat at her god mothers trying to figure out how we'd get home. There are no busses that return to Oviedo in the afternoon because they are all bringing people back to San Juaquin. Since we couldn't find anyone to take us we ended up sleeping over at her god mothers.. and something about the time was so special. We didnt do anything but pasearnos, have dinner, sit on the couch and chat but I felt so much closer to her from that time together (and probably because we shared a bed ;)). I spend the most time with her and the other day she was leaving the office and asked me if I wanted to go. "Vamos a pasearnos" yet again.. we ended up at a friends house sitting outside, drinking terere, passing the baby around and just being together. Her friend asked me questions and Christina answered some, filling in like a big sister, joking about how they give me all the different food and Im willing to try everything. I felt so comfortable, so honored that she brought me along to her friends and just so grateful for the time to pasearnos.

Saturday night Virginia (my host mama) told me to get up at 5:30 the next morning cause we were leaving at 6:00. I asked a few times where we were going.. para pasearnos. So.. I got up as I was told (ended up waiting an hour for everyone else... thank you Latin America time) and got in the car ready for wherever we would end up. We drove for a while and I woke up to Virginia passing back chipa (typical Paraguayan delicious cheesy bread) to everyone in the volkswagon style van they have, feeling completely part of the family. We went to mass in Caacupe, the "Mecca of Paraguay" because of an image of the Virgin that is said to have saved a converted Guarani and survived the flooding of the entire valley. There is a big, beautiful cathedral, with a mirador filled with murals of the story of the particular Guarani who was saved by the image of the Virgin he created. The mass was overflowing and although I didn't understand it all I still find such peace whenever I go to mass and was reminded of the masses we went to in El Salvador. Afterwards we went to the original church where there is a constant flow of water said to be sacred water. People crowded around the water source, filling jugs and splashing their faces with the holy water. Virginia and Don Pedro explained it all to me, told me to go wash my face in it and then we took photos with the holy water. The space buzzed with the energy, excitement and faith of the people who come to Caccupe to be healed and blessed by the water where the miracle happened.

We then went to three other towns to visit the Abuelas on both sides and four different tias. The first Grandma we visited lived in a much poorer little town, she showered me in kisses and spoke to me in Guarani as I tried my best to smile and be polite even though I had no clue what she was saying. Listening kindly to the guarani I saw a story in each wrinkle on her face, a story that is part of this family and this country. We sat outside of her small house on wooden chairs and it was obvious that the family doesn't spend a lot of time here. We brought her bags of food and Pedro went to the pharmacy to get her medications. Ruty said "Hay muchos pobres aca" and I felt uncomfortable at the thought of her feeling she had to explain. We then visited the Grandma on the other side who lives in a much bigger house next door to some other family members where we were completely overfed with asado and sat around "paseandonos". After a few hours there, where the family was much more comfortable, we headed to visit two of Virginia's sisters at one's house and the other's ice cream store. Nothing extremely exciting happened but just the time together was really special. It was neat to see how they grew up and interesting to see the different interactions with the different family members. I sometimes feel distant from the reality here because they just don't tell stories like they did in El Salvador, but this weekend visiting the family and paseandonos I got to see some of those stories and was reminded that there is so much more to this family than I know. On the way home I sat in the back between Ruty and Maria (the 9 and 12 year old that provide me with constant entertainment). As we giggled and joked Maria said "Hablamos con ti mucho más que hablabamos con la otra que estaba aca"... we talk to you a lot more than we talked to the other intern that lived with us. Lots of time I wonder if I'm spending enough time with them and engaging the best I can.  Hearing that from her caught me off guard but left me feeling so at home and just really happy to hear they too feel like all this time just "paseandonos" matters more than I know.

Last night I made coffee cakes with Maria and Virginia, laid in bed and giggled with Ruty and then we played mini pool. I sat on the patio this morning drinking mate and am suddenly so aware of the goodness of paseandonos.. of just being together and am feeling more and more at home. I think for the first couple weeks I was so stuck on finding meaning, having the right conversations, learning, engaging perfectly.. I was distracted from just being. And that time of just being together is really how meaningful relationships form. With less than two weeks left I am so grateful and appreciative for paseandonos and for what comes from just being together.