before I get ahead of myself... I HAD SUCH A GOOD WEEKEND... and its not even over
Wednesday night i went to bed having one of those days where its just time to feel it. where life just felt a little bit too scary to deal with at the moment. I cried to Kelly and Victoria. There are a few people in my life that for whatever reason tears just flow easier around than others. They are some of those people and we got to talking about life and there they came. And they listened and loved and understood and reminded me that I am me and life is life and all I can do is take care of mine. And I left feeling better but also slightly defeated by some of the things I cant and wont ever be able to control. So I came home and went to bed and I woke up the next morning ran, packed, got stuff done and was off to Boulder. To play and laugh and be with my best friends and remind myself that life is FAR too good to ever ever ever feel defeated.
The two days there was fantastic. We rode bikes. And danced. And laughed. And lounged. And explored. And all sorts of things. All but about 2 of my best friends in the entire world were in one house at the same time... HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY!??!?! And we just had all sorts of fun. It was exactly the two nights of adventure and friends and fun that I needed to get out of my blahhhhh funk and to commemorate my summer. It was fantastic... enough said.
Now Im home. Spent the day at Beaver Lakes with the fam and came home to pack some more. IM LEAVING IN THREE DAYS! The emotions behind that statement are overflowing. Excitement, nostalgia, stress, anxiety, a little bit of sadness, nervousness, so happy... soooo many things. Packing is a pain in the butt. Cause Im packing for school... a five day long drive drive to school... 5 days of camping during and after my arrival and about 5 days in between. Pain in the butt I tell you.
The excitement is over ruling all the other emotions. And needs no explanation or thought. Im just SUPER stoked for SO many things. But... Im a little sad to leave home. To leave my best friends.. again. Im a little nostalgic about the fact that.. I might not be back here for a very long period of time any time soon. Im nostalgic about leaving the beauty of this place.
But.. I also realized that although this is home and it is soo unique and beautiful its not the only type of beautiful or the only unique type of beautiful. I have been SO lucky to live here for the last 19 years, to grow up here, to always call this home, but I need to keep finding different kinds of beauty. And Ill come back to the stars and mountains and amazing fairytale views
I also have so much faith in saying goodbye to my friends. I know now who will stay close. And that the ones who matter are the ones that stay close. And its beautiful :)
So... enjoying the next three days and hoping I an get everything done without having a nervous break down and IM OFF TO CALIFORNIA for the next adventure :) YAY!
<3
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