it feels like laughter and love

Merry Christmas. Happy December 26th.  My heart and soul are full and happy. I'm sleeping on the couch next to the fireplace and the lit Christmas tree and it feels just right.

Coming home is a little bit of a process for me.  A stark contrast from what has become home and sometimes a bit of a slow transition. But then I get in the swing of things. Friends start coming home.  Life and festivities and fitting things in come back full swing and Christmas puts the icing on the cake.

Christmas Eve festivities with part of my Leadville crew. Good food and laughter and catching up. Jokes and an understanding that we will forever have.
Then a late night drive down to family, jamming to NSync and Aaron Neville Christmas. Singing, remembering Christmas eves dancing with my brother in the living room and taking a moment to soak it all up.
Then comes family Christmas. Loud, crazy, semi dysfunctional, hilarious, and overflowing with copious amounts of love and understanding and thankfulness. Good food and good company, late nights, early morning and all the quirks that nobody else can quite understand. And... it feels wonderful. It feels like home.

There are times in your life where "family" and "home" get a little bit confusing. And your heart aches to understand where they fit and fights about what they are and what they arent. When you wonder what your supposed to want and need and what you should be doing or wanting to do on your own.  You try to figure out how much concern is the right amount and you go through phases of knowing inside and out and sometimes feeling lost from the people who have been through the most with you. Then on days like Christmas you forget and remember all at the same time cause it just is. Family and love and home. It feels like laughter and inside jokes, story telling, cheers, food passing and a wholleee lot of lovin. So... during those moments I try to soak it all up, so that I can feel it and love it and get it even when it doesnt quite fit.

Merry Christmas all, I hope yours felt right and like home. I hope there was love and some dysfunction and lots of laughter. And I hope all feels right in the world to you, even if just for a moment...xoxox