the place of my soul

Im home. Im laying in my bed with freshly cleaned sheets. With pretty lights and wonderful decorations around me.  In this room that I have made mine and fits my soul just where it is right now.  That has a map for me to dream of traveling. Pictures of life with all of the most important people.  Quotes that remind me why I live everyday. And all things that are me.

I spent the weekend on my terms. With amazing friends. I served meals to people in the Tenderloin on Friday night and made a delicious homemade dinner with awesome friends afterwards. I danced and sang and laughed with my best friends on Friday night and wasted all of Saturday away vegging. I had amazing dates with two of my best friends last week and we talked about all things life. All the things that are confusing and amazing and different.  All the things that happened at home and how they all fit into my heart and theirs. And how being back here feels right.

I called my mama crying on Monday night... and everyday after that.  I talked to my best friend today. I cried for hurt that happens to people that are so amazing and searched deep inside to find words of wisdom for something that is absolutely unfair and makes no sense.  I questioned life and my beliefs. I sent my love through the phone and promised I would do whatever I could from this far away... and far away it felt. I worked on Young RYLA through the phone and forever wish that I could have more face time with my lovely team.

I got an acceptance email to go to El Salvador next fall and looked at a house to live in next year. I went to my first day of classes in a new quarter and was excited about every single one of them.

I am back to this life that makes me feel so good. That makes my brain and my heart work hard. Where I work to be whole and take care of me in all the ways I have found that make me go.  I miss home and was sad to say goodbye but I am learning to mesh my lives. Or actually not really but learning what fits where.  Life is good. It is scary and hard and confusing too. But deep down it is good and there is so much that we have control of to make it that way, which is the most important thing to remember when scary things out of our control happen. Take care of yourself. Love the people around you. Feel whole. And cherish every moment that you have happy, healthy and alive on this wonderful, scary mess of a planet.  We are all luckier than we will ever understand. Xoxoxo