giggles and awesome outlooks on life

good morning world. im feeling motivated and excited and inspired. all because of a 3rd grade boy who needs a little help with his reading. Every Wednesday I go to LUCHA (the elementary school I am in charge of coordinating volunteers for) and work with Sergio.  He is a fantastic kiddo who is sweet as can be and forever makes me laugh. Today he was rockin his reading, laughing at the goofy movies givin me a little sass, and giggling like usual.  He starts out my day on such a perfect note. He works hard and has fun and totally loves the one on one time.

He reminds me of Young RYLA, of giving awesome kids what they deserve, and being a little bit extra when life is just a pain in the rear sometimes. 

If there is anything in life I know, I know that I love working with kids, and somehow that will fit into my life. 

I talked to the Urban Education director yesterday and am excited for a minor that gives me more than just a desire to work with kids, but something actually concrete.  Cause I love it. I love the fresh outlook and the giggles and the "are we done yet" and the sass. I love when they get to know me and feel comfortable enough to give me a hard time and to joke with me but also understand that Im there to help them. And I love that I get to do this once a week and that I'll be at Young RYLA again watching the magic happen.

And I love the way they make me want to do more and be better and inspire me and remind me how wonderful life is.

Im feeling super into LUCHA and wanting to do more, and overflowing with ideas of what we can do. And thats just how I like it :)

Happy hump day! Go find some kiddos to hang out with or go watch this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk  it will make your day :)
XOXOXO

focusing my energy on peach tea, a weekend with zachy, and all that is good in the world

Im sitting at my desk, drinking peach tea and eating a trader joe's salad.  Buying a plane ticket. Reading great blogs. And watched an inspiring story. My Zachy was here all weekend.  SEARCH in 4 days, Thanksgiving break in 11 and home in a month. Life is good.

I have been in a funk. I funked all last week cause of boredom with school. Frusteration with silly little life things. Then even in the midst of Zachy being here this weekend I funked about my family. About some love and understanding he brought with him that allowed me to bring somethings that I put aside to the forefront of my brain for a bit and had me a little bit teary eyed here and there.

We had the best weekend.  Playing, adventuring, wrestling, talking about all the things we talk about, and dreaming up life.  I am so glad he came, to un funk me and to let me feel. To let me be a little upset about a couple things in my life that despite trying to forget, still are a little off, and are a little be worth being upset about.  He heard me out and got it, like nobody does.  He cuddled with me like only a best friend can and fit right into this here life.  It was fantastic.

I called my mama today exhausted, sad that he had left. And frusterated with people in my life who aren't always what I want them to be. And she listened to me and helped me and told me it'd all be ok. I love that about mama's. And i love that even when you try to be strong and do it alone in the end you end up calling the mama and letting go, having red eyes and being told it'd be ok. And hearing "we can count down the days now" (til we see each other) really made my heart feel a whole lot better.

I reminded myself today and Zachy reminded me this weekend that I need to focus my energy on doing well in school so Im not frusterated, on going for runs so I feel better, on friendships that make me feel good, on all the things that are good in my life... NOT on the frusterations and exhuastions and miss understanding. Cause really, its just a waste of energy.

Im ready for a break... but I gotta get there first. Im excited to be home at Christmas but Im also excited for the next 4 weeks before that. Life is good. And frustrations and exhaustion and misunderstandings and WHY ME's... those happen.  But if they bog you down, thats when your in trouble. So... even if Im funking... Im gonna focus my energy somewhere else. <3

best friend- so good for the soul

this weekend is perfect. and zachy has cured all the lack of inspiration that I've had and distracted me from all the frustration of school and has reminded me of all the wonderful things in this life.

Just a few of the things that have come out of our conversations

" we should add this to the breaking bread book, standing on the beach watching the waves with your best friend, so good for the soul" ~ a few years ago we started coming up with ideas for a book about all things good for the soul;)

"I love that place so much" "Me too, its so great" "We are so lucky to have grown up there" talking about that sweet place we call home

"You can borrow my family" "Thats the best thing about it all, I have so many families I can borrow, thats why Im alive"

So much more. So much love and understanding and life lived together. We talked about the difference in the cultures between here and home, about the amazing people that I have come to know, about the future and living together this summer.  About school and family and love and all things life.

We have stayed up late and stayed in bed lounging around. Played frisbee and wrestled on the beach. Went for a late night bike ride and explored the cute surrounding neighborhoods.  Did a P90X workout. Sat and talked and joked with friends for hours. Stopped at a fruit stand and got the best fruit we've ever had. And jammed to songs of our souls.. songs of home and childhood and so much on the drive home.

And we still have a day and a half together.

Thank you for sending me Zachy :) Thank you universe for letting me have the best family in the world... who isn't even blood related.

pity party

So... my Zachy will be here in a few hours, thank god. He will save me from the pity party that has been my week.

I am feeling a little frusterated, exhausted, bored, uninspired. And those are feelings that I do not like.

School is forever tons of work, and I am not in love with any of my classes. And... Spanish and I are in a forever fight. Which is frustrating because I don't wanna fight with Spanish, I wanna be good friends and feel like I can actually use it for all that is useful for. GAHHH!

I know that there is always so much to look forward to, ALWAYS and I know that I am a pitiful whining joke, but... thats just the way it is every once and a while. And right now the best thing in the world sounds like picking up and going to travel the world... all problems solved- no more boredom, no more inspiration drought, and no more fighting with school. I wanna be in a spanish speaking country where I learn by speaking, and by messing up but don't get graded on it. And where people tell me cool stories and teach me about their way of life.  I think thats the best kind of school.

I have 2 weeks til Thanksgiving Break and I will make it, and I will work on lowering the level of sass. And this weekend will be so fantastic. But boy am I excited for a week of being lazy, and doing things on my time, and seeing friends and new places and feeling excited not bored. Because being bored is not my style!

Sorry to whine and complain and be no fun to read... Ill get better. I will be refreshed after this weekend and have loads of good things to say about my time with the most wonderful best friend in the world :) Hope your feeling more inspired than I am, do something extra cool for me :)

the string

Happy Halloween world!! Im not always super sure of the words I want to come out on this here blog... but the thoughts in my head always seem big and important and sometimes they seem really monumental. And sometimes they just are the string that holds life together. But that string is important, and I like it more and more everyday. As I learn more about me, and as Margot would say become "homies with the universe" and all that jazz.

So the thoughts in my head.

Friendships, people, support.. the good, the frusterating, the love of those who show me what amazing friendships are, the new, the old, and the ones I learn from, even if it hurts my head a little.

Nostalgia- halloween, fall, dinner with last years crew, pictures. The feeling of being so lucky for then and now, and wondering what happens in between

Change- that every once and a while starts dancing and says HEY look at all that's happened, and most times you don't even notice it happening

Love- of life and family and friends

Future- all that is has to offer me, how its coming together, how I am so excited, and just scared enough that I'll stay on my toes :)

Urban Education- minor, fits, concrete, actually what I want from my life

Zachy- here next week to fill my heart full of all the best friend loads of love that seep out of him all the time

Motivation- that I find within and from all that surrounds me, to do better, to work hard, to be more, to learn and grow and squeeze the last drops of juice out of this life

School- which means learning and late nights and hard work and excitement and so much that I am so lucky to have unlike so many people... but sometimes makes me feel a tad bit overwhelmed ;)

I could go on forever... but those are where my head is right now. A little sleepy, a little frustrated with group projects, a lot thoughtful and a lot thankful and a lot blown away at all that is life... and wonderful :)

Hope your weekend was full of make believe and giggles and remembering childhood memories. And that you have thoughts in your head that feel like they are leading your life where it is supposed to go, and people to support you the whole way!

XOXOX

celebrations and frustrations

Last night during a sleepy, thoughtful, dreamer explosion of words that only best friends can keep up with Hayley and I came to the conclusion of a celebrations and frustrations book.  I believe in feeling emotions. In not denying yourself the raw moments of pure happiness and all the same the moments of pure sadness.  Allowing yourself to feel teaches you about you, helps you understand whats good and whats not so good for that heart that you spend so much of your life trying to find the key to. Cause your own heart and soul and thoughts and dreams and frusterations and misunderstandings, those are the most important. Cause how can you tackle those of the world when you aren't in touch with your own. Life is so good, but Im not gonna lie and say that every minute I love everything or that I dont have moments where I wouldn't mind staying in bed, or when I call my mom three times in a row just to whine, to someone that I know will tell me its all gonna be ok. Cause without those moments, the moments where everything feels right and you are inspired and ready to take on everyday with the biggest smile you can muster just aren't as good. So...

celebrations, likes, loves, inspirations, all things that make my heart flutter and soar

- the cozy cool feel of fall, that calls for scarves and mocassins, sweaters and apple cider

- the taking care of myself that I did this week, sleeping extra, taking a day off cause my body said so

- spending the evening in santa cruz with two of my favorite ladies chatting about all things life, window shopping and real shopping and eating dang good food

- brainstorming with Jess and getting this process of planning RYLA underway

- the absolutely amazing out of this world kiddos that are gonna take Interact to the next level

-my mama, and how much ive been missing her lately. how much i love every piece of her cause she is just that, my mama. and she'll forever be one of the coolest people I know

-the hope in my heart that the El Salvador study abroad program is sneaking its way into, the listening I've done to find it in that place, and the growing excitement and feeling of "yep this ones the right one"

- Halloween costumes I decided on tonight

-the quirky little life Mandy and I have created in this room... and having it to myself sometimes

- organizing, redecorating, perfecting of my room.. and my life at that

- the reminder that life IS inspiring... all over the place, you just gotta open your eyes

-my Zachy coming IN TWO WEEKS!

drum roll please

- SEATTLE.. ROAD TRIP... WITH MARGOT for Thanksgiving.. the pieces came together, you North Westerners, get ready!

and cause Im human and raw and cause I think its allowed

a few frusterations, rough patches or things that just dont quite agree with my soul as of late

-feeling uninspired and a little like a robot going through the motions of class, homework.. repeat

- being too busy for the things that i really want to do

- getting the flu and being so tired trying to kick it 

- the male population

- green stuff we call money

-relationships i may never understand and finding a way to come to peace with the misunderstandings

its like swept away... of course the celebrations are so much more.  but thats why its ok to feel the other stuff, cause once you get it out, you realize its never as bad as it is if you let it all build up. im going to bed early once last night to kick this flu thing out the door. im doing what i can to remind myself of the inspiration that is life, but giving myself some space to be human and feel frustrated here and there.

its all about balance. and good people. and inspiration

<3

dancing heart

happy sunday almost monday night.

this snarky little one who sometimes whines about sundays, and boring classes and too much homework and being sleepy...

is avoiding all signs of snarkiness tonight. hey world.. guess what. Im ready for Monday :)

I had such a wonderful weekend.  SCCAPiness to the max on Friday night and a sleepover in Hayley and Laurens room just cause I can. And then a weekend filled to the brim with RYLA and Interact and Rotary love and ideas and inspiration and amazingness.  And I came home and got into warm cozies and hunkered down in the library for a little bit of frusteration and then a nice feeling of accomplishment when I figured out something not quite in my realm of understanding cause of some serious perserverance, and to top it off tea with my bestie :)

I think all things Rotary are the most amazing thing that ever happened to my life. For reasons that I cannot even begin to put into words.  Rolo, Heather, Natalie and the interactors came this weekend to get ideas to build what we have started into something bigger and better that changes more people's lives and forever grows to empower more kids.  We played yesterday in Santa Cruz and had a total blast laughing and exploring and talking about anything and everything when RYLA blooded people come together and immediately bond. 

It was a blast. And inspiring. In ways that inspiring hasn't quite been defined in my head before.  Watching them want to make this grow, watching them excited and empowered and ready to take this so far was amazing.  Something that started with this crazy adventure I have been so lucky to go on being passed down to other people in my shoes who want to do something big, who are passionate and excited and out of this world. Its amazing and exciting and I feel so lucky to be a part of it, to hear ideas, to give thoughts, to watch it grow and to be even a little bit of help to them. They're going places, and Im lucky to be on the sidelines :)

And to spend the weekend with Rolo and Heather.  Those two are honestly the reason I am where I am today in the RYLA world and in so much bigger aspects of my life. RYLA has become my life, it has changed me and shaped me and lead me to where I am. And the reason I have been able to continue my involvement is because of them. And my heart was some word that I cant even come up with... full and light and dancing... my heart was dancing to spend the weekend with the two of them together, to think of how lucky I am that I have crossed paths with them and created relationships that will last forever and that will lead me to amazing things and that have completely and utterly changed my life. Thank you guys, you truly are absolutely amazing and inspiring people who I am so lucky to call family.

And.. it became real. I got the position as head J.C. next year. And Im ready to shout it to the world. Im ready to make the phone calls saying thanks, and Im so excited to work with you again. Im ready to come out of my shell and feel it with all the people who have helped me get here. I could not be more excited and I am so fortunate to be working with Jess. And more than anything else, I am absolutely blown away that I have been given this perfect opportunity to give back, to work my butt off so more kids, more counselors, more people on the side lines can feel what I feel and experience it and live it and love it and turn it into their life.

It makes me tear up when I think of how this whole journey started and has progressed. Its a mix of timing and luck and universe aligning that has allowed me to go through all these steps and now gets to take it one step further. To work with Jess to make it ours and to build it and to watch it continue to rock people's world but to change and grow little by little at the same time.  To empower people. To be empowered and to continue the forever journey and life filled with the RYLA magic. Thank you universe, you have done me far better than I could have ever asked.

Needless to say all that love and emotion and dancing heart and reminder of how good the Universe is to me sent me a little note saying "hey brat, stop with the "bored" and get in the game!"

Im ready to focus and be motivated and get out of these classes all there is to get out of them. I just needed a little break, and maybe a slight slap in the face :) 

Hmm. so content. Goodnight! happy monday :)