College, Elementary School, a journey, not a destination

And again, another post about college, because getting there is this long drawn out process, one friend at a time saying goodbye til it finally gets to me.  Yesterday I spent the day with Liv, our last real day together before she leaves Tuesday.  My best friend since 8th grade, despite all the rough spots we hit, we have been best friends, we have laughed and cried and pretty much felt it all together.  Ya I have my Leadville crew, and so many others, but Liv was the one I experienced every piece of high school with, in some way, shape or form.  The drama, the boys, the dances, the games, the bad and good moments, the fights, all of it was with Liv, and we are going to college, both to a place we have dreamed of, far far away where we can be nothing but ourselves, both on the West Coast but still too far, its hard to let her go, even if we havent had tons of time together lately, we had each other when we needed each other most, and all the rest of the time. Agh, I dunno how to let go, I hope we can hold on tight.  I need her, I love her, and I will so dearly miss her. It's weird, her leaving is super real and super far away and next time I see her will probably be Thanksgiving or Christmas or something far away, yuck. So the whole way home last night I just thought about her leaving and everyone else leaving and how weird and real it is, and how its always been this far away surreal thing, its not actually supposed to come true. Wow!

Then tonight I sat on the couch with my 10 year old cousin who is in 5th grade and was brought right back to elementary school, the world of differences and reminded how old I am, how far away yet in some ways how just yesterday that feels.  While she read to me I thought of the simplicities that at times seemed so complexed, the complete difference in priorities and your view on the world. Fifth grade was such a different world, she is so grown up yet so much younger, and sooner then she knows it she will be where I am wondering what happened and how she got here. And I will be 26 wondering the same thing.  Time, I tell you its the craziest thing.  Find someone to take you back, to 2 or 8 or 10 or 15, whatever it is, remember it.  Cause this is good, and that was good, and its all worth feeling and remembering, cause its all life.  

And, I feel like I'm running out of time, she feels like she has all the time in the world cause she's not transitioning, and all I'm doing is transitioning, into a new stage, that sooner then later will feel like its all that matters, so really I have all the time in the world, and life, somehow, whatever is meant to be, just like we said, will figure its self out.  Cause what's the fun in knowing what's meant to be, its all about the journey, the destination shouldn't even be a thought.  To me, it seems its all a journey, with absolutely no destination, cause as soon as you think you get where your going, you have somewhere else to go and another change to make, so what's the point in wondering where you'll end up, when every minute of every day you are where you'll end up, and tomorrow and the next day and for the next however many years, you'll be where you going, and you'll still be on your way.