lucky lucky life

Last night we had some serious girl talk. We were a little homesick so we need sometime to feel. It was so nice, and we talked about a lot of really good stuff, and some bad stuff, but we just talked. It was interesting. Everyone has their world's, and still so many things about them that I dont know. But..I feel like I have had such a completely different world. My parents were never too strict, or too invovled in my life. I was the kid wishing they would wonder what I was doing. I figured everything out by myself, I raised myself with them as my support. I love my parents to death, I would be nothing without them, especially my mom, but they have effected me in such a different way then most people's parents. Most of them are here cause they couldnt go somewhere else, this was their safety, last choice, or just one of the lower ones. This was my top choice that I fought so hard for, and put so much of my life into, and I couldnt be happier to be here. I know they are happy to be here, they are, we all love it, we feel really lucky to have each other and this world, but seriously every single day I remember how freakin lucky I am to be here, and am so happy that it worked out. This is where I am supposed to be, and some sort of crazy fate got me here, and I dont ever wish I was somewhere else. Its just crazy, different. But I like it this way. I like being here and constantly remembering how I almost didnt get to be here, how for years I was told this was gonna be too hard, too expensive, too far away, and guess what I'm here. I like that I figured my life out, that I love my parents dearly but I know how to make life go on my own, I know how to motivate and work hard and be independent despite anything that happens, I am me because of all the things that happened, and as hard as they were I cant imagine my life being in different, really I can.

Then we talked about friends, and missing them, and being scared to go home and see how people have changed. Of course there are people that have and will change. But my core group, my family, will not change, we will always be us. Yes we will grow, but no matter how far away we are we will always grow together and learn from each other and share our worlds. So many people dont have what we have, went to daycare together and still best friends even though we went seperate ways starting in third grade. We are so lucky, and while my family is a little dysfunctional my friends are more amazing then most people could ever understand, thats another reason why Im here. I have the best support group ever ever ever. I love that I wanna talk to them everyday, tell them about my world, hear about their world. I love that as much as I miss them I dont feel far away, I feel like they are always in my heart, always always always. And its absolutely amazing. Sigh... so, its interesting learning about people's lives, it helps you see how yours has unfolded, its great.

I got a job! and I start today, tutoring 8th grades. Ha, perfect, seriously, Young RYLA has made me love 8th graders. I think 7th and 8th grade freakin blow, they did for me, and the kids at camp definitley were like what the heck am i gonna do with my life, im so stuck. So I'm psyched to be with them, learn from them, teach them, and have a little kiddo sunshine in my life.

AND! OMG!!! JESSE AND I ARE GOING TO JIMMY FREAKIN BUFFET THIS WEEKEND! AHHHHHHH! I am sooooo excited, seriously I've been wanting to go to Jimmy Buffet for as long as I can remember, I grew up on that mans beach music next to the lake, its like a part of my culture and with my brother, PERFECT! I'm so stoked, seriously SO stoked! I love being here and being able to do stuff like that with him that easy, and having stuff like that to do so easily and so often. Its great.

As different as all our lives are, we came to a consensus last night. We are soooooo lucky, for everything we have. Life is all about luck, ok not all about luck, but a lot about luck, and being fortunate and using it as best you can. We got a pretty good life going for us, no matter what shit we've been through, we're here and its amazing. And so many other things beyond just here are amazing.... :) :) :)