right where i need to be with some holiday spirit

home has been in the title of so many of my blogs lately. and its kinda confusing. but i got back here, to school, my dorm room, my fantastic friends, second floor swig, palm trees, constant chaos, gym, library, beautiful campus, california, and something felt just right. home was great, dont get me wrong (leadville home), my best friends are there, so many things are there. But right now, this is right where Im supposed to be, and exactly what feels good. When Im in Leadville/ Summit I feel like I have to deal with a lot of life, and when Im here I get to deal with me, and do whatever it is that makes my heart content, no expectations, no drama, no past, just me, being me, and whoever I want to be. Everything fits here, everything Ive been through makes sense, where I'm going makes sense. And when I sit on my couch by the fireplace, while its so comforting and there are soo many amazing things, life gets a little bit confusing, like it was a lot of the times I sat on that couch...so many memories, so many ups and downs, so many whys and what ifs and this and that and just a lot of thoughts. So, while I will continue to love going home cause that is a huge piece of my heart and my world and my family is there and all the things I grew up loving, i will also continue to know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And so lucky to come back here where everything feels just right.

And then... today I took a picture with Santa, had my first candy cane, decorated my room and made snowflakes. Christmas music has been playing for a few weeks, Hayley sprayed her cinnamon Christmas smell air freshener. The spirit is in the air and gosh I just love it. I was thinking about all those things as a kid. Sitting on Santa's lap and eating your first candy cane they are such exciting things. Its like a chance to dream of and hope for everything you want and feel a whole lot of love and excitement. You sit on Santa's lap and you feel like the world is yours to dream of and your imagination goes crazy. The elves at the north pole, Santa and his reindeer, all the things you might get for Christmas and the big fat man squeezing down your chimney, you can dream like crazy and when your little nothing gets in the way. You eat your first candy cane of the season and you just anticipate all the yummyness that is to come and all the fun and happiness and spirit and joy, all the things that naturally come along with Christmas and make your heart feel a little fuller. Those are the things we need to hold onto, the things that make us soar when we are little kids, a childlike heart, an imagination, dreams, and simple pleasures. Not just at Christmas but all the time. Especially at Christmas though, the love, the joy, the dreams, and the giving. Member when you were little and made your mom a present and it was the best feeling ever when she opened it with a huge grin on her face, we need to remember that in giving, small simple things, not necesarrily big materialistic things. We should feel the spirit, make snow flakes, dance to Christmas music, take your time making your candy cane as poky as you possibly can, and dream of all the things Santa could bring to you. Maybe now you think of success, happiness, a family, a good job, some fun, whatever it may be and not so much that new doll or the big teddy bear or the AWESOME barbie jeep, but your dreaming, even if it never quite turns out perfect, its the spirit of the season that matters. Family, happiness, joy, giving and the feeling that I cant put into words but you all know exactly what I mean. Make some snowflakes, a Christmas list, decorate your house, light some cinnamon candles and listen to the most enjoyable seasonal music ever and feel it as much as you can. Just enjoy it for the spirit instead of stressing about the craziness, it feels good.

Theres my little early Christmas spiel, its only December 3rd so you have LOTS of time :)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS and Happy Christmas Spirit

P.S. Going to a private Catholic school allows for all the Christmas spirit you want with no worries about being politically correct, I like that, no offense to those who dont celebrate Christmas, its just a fun feeling :)