so.... i have a constant battle about what the heck I'm gonna do with my life. Everyday I think about it, everyday I wish I had a concrete plan, everyday I have a new idea for what I'll major in, and how it will help me. But it just never seems good enough...for whatever reason to me...and then I tell other people and I get this response, a response people warned me about, but its just a little discouraging.
I am sure about sociology, not because I know exactly what I will do with it but because I love it. I think it is so interesting and it makes me want to keep learning and helping and making a difference. I just wish I knew how. Everyone tells me sociology applies to so many things (just kidding not everyone, just the people who are supposed to say that)...and I think they are right, it applies to a lot, but what does it apply to that I actually want to do with my life, and that I wont be living on the streets... And while money is by no means the most important thing in my world, not even close, it is something, its something that you need, and if nothing else, I want to be able to have a stable life for my kids, to raise a family in a space where we can learn and grow and play, and not constantly worry about money. I dont need to be rich, not at all, just stable. Yahoo put out a ten worst paying jobs list, and boy did I know I shouldn't look at it. But social work is the worst paying job. First of all, why are the things we need most payed so little...I mean I guess except doctors. Teachers, social workers, counselors, childcare people, people that help people, get nothing, and people need helped, this world needs helped. Second of all, no matter how little money matters, that is a little discouraging.
Its not discouraging enough, because I'm encouraged by the fact that it is so interesting, that it's what I want to do, that helping people and learning about why things are the way they are is so interesting to me. And everyday I just try so hard to hold onto the fact that it WILL somehow work out. I'm encouraged by the fact that I love it.
And still searching for something else to add on. I have gone through lots of ideas...psych, english, urban ed minor, spanish and today I thought of maybe doing a liberal studies major also...which is like the education undergrad. So i go through all these thoughts and ask people what they think and people say "what are you gonna do that" and I list the options and the thought pattern but I kinda wanna scream "I don't freakin know what Im gonna do with it..I just like it" Cause thats it...i like it and thats how I try to choose these things, but some people choose things by jobs and money. And i'm not sure where the in between is. And its challenging to figure out.
But here is todays thought. Of all the thoughts I have had I have only been able to put one thing into words... some sort of organization that helps teen moms and their babies, all the way through. Helps them with school work, getting ready for the baby, raising the baby, finding jobs, all that stuff. And for that I need to be able to educate, have some sort of developmental psych and also do social work. Thats like a way for me to put everything I have into something concrete. And thats why I think liberal studies...cause its education, its development, its a little mix of everything. But... who knows if it would actually work, maybe it would be a lot of extra that I don't need, a lot of history and math and science for teachers to teach...and do I really wanna teach? Not to mention, how the heck is that gonna happen, and I definitely need something to get me there, something in between...so maybe I'll do social work, maybe I'll teach, and poor for a while is fine...I just want to know that eventually I will be stable and happy...together :)
Bah soooo many questions and its all so damn abstract and I just wish I could figure out how to put it into life. And Jes says business is so important, and I guess there are lots of other options but it just sounds dry. And all I know is I want to help people and I want to work with kids. So... how do I do that. Bah
I'll figure it out, but suggestions are much appreciated :)
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