its friday night...and im lying in bed with a kleenex attached to my nose and going between wrapped in a million covers to pulling them off dying off heat. sick. ugh. no fun. my head feels like a bowling ball full of juice that might just explode soon. too graphic? sorry. i also drank a concoction of vinegar, honey and cayenne pepper that alex says will cure my throat. it better. being sick is when you miss home the most. the comfort of your couch tv, books, tea, and mommy at hand. fireplace, silence, and being taken care of. ill be fine...just feeling a little unfun for now. and hoping to wake up better so i can hike big sur tomorrow :/
so tonight shs had airband, tomorrow prom. And boy does that have me reminiscing. First of all this was seriously one of THE funnest weekends of my life. Amazing amazing people, crazy fun airband (IB KRUNKIN), frantically getting ready with Liv and running between houses and appointments, Mindy, Kam and Jess being there for pictures, yummy dinner, SOOOO much fun dancing well crutch, hop, one legged dancing with some great support and quite the after party. It was out of the world and I hope I never forget how much fun I had. But also, this time last year I was frantically turning in my housing deposit to SCU. In all the chaos of this coming together, stuff with my mom happening, trying to figure out the finances, I thought that I had a deadline extension until they emailed me and said they had waived the housing deposit and to go ahead and apply anyways. Sitting in the commons before airband getting credit card numbers, realizing visa didnt work, staying up at Liv's house writing my reasons for preferencing whatever RLC's and feeling SOOO stressed about it not working out cause I literally turned it in at 11:59 pm but also so relieved to have it off my shoulders. Oh what fun.
Crazy crazy talk how it all came together. A miracle of financial aid as I was turning in my housing deposit to USF. Fights with the family. Tears, so much excitement, so much questioning, hoping and probably some praying in there just hoping to someone bigger than me that it would work out. And guess what. It worked out, better than I ever even thought was possible.
Its funny how that happens. Life seems to have a crazy way of making things work out. And its so damn hard to remember that in the midst of the craziness and stress and frustration and fear. But eventually, somehow it all works out. And usually in ways you could have never imagined.
So much has happened since that crazy day a year ago where it felt like so much was left undone. So much has come together, so much up and down, so much learning and growing and seeing and emotion all in the whole idea of coming to college and the first year of college. What an amazing amazing time. Still there are things undone. Things that arent figured out. Things that scare me and make me wonder and hope and are out of my control. Things that I think are a disaster and just so dang hard. But guess what, just like this wonderful out of this world year that I have had, somehow those things are also gonna come together. Somehow. I have faith. In life, if nothing else. And I got the faith from the last year of crazy up and downs. A faith that things work out. Life has some crazy control. And somehow, it WILL all be ok, just kidding, it will be better than ok.
No comments:
Post a Comment