i like that

hi. i finished my last final yesterday. academically im done with freshmen year. mentally...i have no idea where i am. not anywhere where my thoughts make much sense so its gonna be a list kinda day


I like:
that i stayed up til 2:30 sitting outside talking about life with my hayley last night
that this year has taught us so much
that people from worlds so far from mine have become my best friends
that im so not ready for this so be over
that i have fallen in love with swimming
that the sun is shining bright
that i have wonderful friends to look forward to going home too
that this year is the most amazing i have ever had
that we swam in the benson fountain at 2 am
that i spent sunday afternoon with my brother, caught up on life and feelings, watched dolphins and stuck our toes in the water
that i get to have dinner with him and kylie tomorrow
that i get to go rafting with this years RYLA team on saturday
and camping with the crew saturday night
that i feel full of life, full of excitement, full of love
that we can lay in bed and cry and laugh and tell each other how much we love each other
that we can reminisce about this year and be so happy for ALL the ups and the downs
that I am confident the fantastic four will stay close next year
that i dont have to worry about school work for three months
that im going home to a job, a town and a family that i love more than life
that this has become my home
that i have learned more about myself this year than any other year of my life
that i feel like one of the most fortunate people in the world
that my parents taught me so much
that there is so much excitement to come
that i have learned to be passionate
that i could go on forever


you get the idea. life is really good. but still my hearts a little sore. sore that this amazing year is ending. soar that i wont be living with these people next year. soar that i am leaving in two days.


my heart also is a little exhausted. has lots of packing to do. and is trying to support a sore, tweaked back again.


we talked all night last night. we dont sleep anymore. we have to talk and feel and love. and its all so great. but i imagine its like coming off of some sort of a high..from an adventure, a person you love, something illegal, something exhilarating, an adrenaline rush....


i feel a little numb. a little sore. a little scared. and a LOT like i wish i could pause time.


still i am excited. for all that is to come. always. but this is just so weird. i am constantly completely blown away...at how amazing this life is. and at how fast it is flying by me. slow down, i love you too much to not be able to soak up every moment. but i guess if its flying that means im soaking it up.


heres to two more days. of the most amazing year of my life. with amazing people. and goodbyes that are nothing but see ya laters and time to put all this into home. goodbyes that lead to lots of skype and letters and phone calls. and then hellos of excitement and joy and love and missing, and a summer of fun to lead up to yet another wonderful year. :)