I just wrote this huge long post and then decided I didnt like it.. so Im starting over. I was feeling pretty exhausted and just lathargic. I'm still exhausted... from doing absolutely nothing but I had some dinner and moved outside in search of some inspiration to give you more than just a recap of the last few days. The first couple days were a lot of motion in my brain and heart.. missing Casa, trying to figure out what it means to be here and just lots of grappling. Recently I have felt a lot more grounded and patient. Things move slowly here, a mixture of being on Latin America time, being interns and maybe some due to the specifics of the organization. We have been sitting and waiting A LOT but may finally have some movement.
We visited the Self Sustaining Agricultural school a couple hours away, really neat concept where students live at the school and get both a regular high school degree along with a technical agriculture/ hotel management degree which makes them highly employable. They switch off every other week between the classroom learning basic subjects and the campo learning about agriculture, animal husbandry, carpentry, etc. Wednesday morning we had a meeting with the women who coordinates the womens committees who receive loans and hold each other accountable. We learned a lot of information and it was inspiring to see the really comprehensive well thought out and seemingly successful models the organization is using. We left hoping we can find a way to meaningfully engage in what the organization is doing. The other interns have struggled a lot with not really being able to get anything done and sometimes feeling as though they are just a source of income for the organization. We are lucky to have our professor Keith here advocating for us and somewhat of a relationship with the organization that is helping some in getting things moving.
We had a meeting with the intern coordinator later in the day who told us we would be sent to different offices which is exactly what we were hoping for. I want to be in a little more rural area where I can interact with the women to see how the loans are affecting their lives and where there is room for improvement. It also seems like if we can get to a smaller office we may be able to work one on one with the assesoras (something like loan officers) to really understand what they are doing. Hearing the news was exciting yet we spend the next day and a half having meeting times pushed back again and again to tell us where we would actually be going, finally around 6:00pm we got an email telling us the towns we will be placed in. The other two fellows will be together and I will be in a different office likely about an hour away. We still don't have exact details but will be living in home stays with employees of the Fundacion and working in a smaller more personalized situation, hopefully allowing for a lot more meaningful experience. I am looking forward to finally feeling like I am in Paraguay and getting closer to the women and staff members who I know have so much to teach me. We will have a meeting Monday morning to find out details and then head out to our respective offices. Who knows exactly what it will be like but I think it is good progress and I'm excited to see what comes.
I think being in another office will give me a little more space to make of it what I have been hoping and to create the relationships that I know are so very important to this experience. Im ready to dive in head first and know that although a little bit frustrating this week of waiting has allowed me sometime to think, journal, be in touch with people I love and mentally prepare for the next step which I'm hoping will be incredibly life giving. I sent an email to Heidi who was one of our directors at Casa asking her about her opinion on some post grad options (trying to make good use of my time). I just barely mentioned the feelings and thoughts I had been having about Casa and she wrote the most supportive, understanding and helpful email back giving me some things to think about to really allow this experience to be it's own while still understanding how Casa has helped me get here. I spent a lot of time with her talking about all the struggles and joys on my heart while in El Salvador and it is so wonderful to feel her support here too. I have felt so much love and support from so many people just there to process this time of waiting. I skyped with CWC last night and we laughed, talked about all that is wonderful, hard and everything in between and I was just left full of so much joy. We are going to see each other at the end of August and our conversation ended talking about how excited we are to see each other but how special it is that we both have such wonderful experiences to be present to between now and then (she is back in El Salvador). There are so many good people in my life and its nice to know that no matter where I am I still have that amazing community that I have found is so important.
We have been able to explore the city some and have taken as much advantage of our time as possible. We went down town last night and saw some of the government buildings which were very pretty lit up at night and had a wonderful dinner. Its nice to be here with Amanda and Ashley for the first week as we kind of get our bearings and try to see some of the city. We wont be too heart broken to leave next week as there is only so much to see and the rest is just a lot of department buildings and run down buildings.. its an odd city that I still haven't quite figured out. Tomorrow we are going to Iguazu Falls which is on the Brazil/ Argentina border and is supposed to be amazing. It will be really nice to see another part of the country and be able to explore some.
Ive had a lot of time to think but have really been able to get to a place of peace, groundedness, patience and just excitement to see what comes. Internet access will likely be less frequent once I move but I will keep you all updated. Thanks for reading my ridiculously long posts... I will work on making them more articulate. Hoping for rain for my beautiful Colorado (which I am so looking forward to getting home to in a couple months) and goodness for all of you. XOXO
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