Yesterday was a weird day. I was so tired and sick and things just werent as I thought they'd be, of course I was way over analyzing it and mostly things are just right, but the little things stuck out and I was just caught off guard. I live two totally seperate lives right now, and its just hard to wrap my mind around it. It's like I just had a really long dream and now I'm awake and back to this life. Its so surreal and such a weird thing to grasp.
I spent the night with Tiff and the boys and it was nice. Then Tiff stayed and that was even better, we talked forever, about everything, and our heads just match up, and its amazing. Today we just moped around then I went to Summit to see the girls and it was so great. It felt like nothing had changed at all. Other than the new stories, it was still us, sitting on Molly's couch and then going to Giams for pizza, like nothing had changed at all. It was perfect. Then I came home and spent two hours on the couch with Dave, which was also perfect. I miss him like crazy and we had so much to catch up on.
Being with friends made home less weird, it made it feel like we never went away. Like we just fell into everything we always were, none of my inside jokes with people at school came up, and I felt right at home. And all the silly things about each other we're back and we noticed them and it was so nice.
And the stars, the freaking stars are amazing. Even more amazing than they used to be, I had no idea then. They are beautiful and it blows my mind. And the mountains. And the air, it feels so different than the air I know and so crisp and fresh feeling, its amazing. And the water, delicious. Its great. I love it here.
It scares me to think...that this is starting to become less home. I love it here, even more than I knew I did and I dont wanna let go of it. Not that I totally have to but I do a little bit and that feels weird to me. So weird. Kinda like letting go of a lot of other things. I dunno if anyone is good at letting go but I'm definitely not. Weird.
Gosh, my head is starting to go crazy, and Im starting to think about a million things. But its one in the morning and my head hurts and I will think later. But I'm happy to be home. So happy. At first I was really unsure, but its slowly fitting back into place, and feeling more right. So, here's to a week at home, and enjoying this part of my life, while I embrace the rest of my life <3
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